Scared Weird Little Guys - Bawdy Song lyrics

We sat round the table upon Christmas Day My brother said you should all know that I'm Going for a drive can I borrow the truck By the way mum and dad I think your both Funny, No really I love you to bits Grandma yelled Merry Christmas, and flopped out her Tickets to a concert put on by Lou Rawls Grandad stood up and said look at my Christmas Day, Christmas Day You never know what they are going to sing We all went outside and were gazing at Venus Someone remarked at the size of Uran*s and Pluto and Saturn and Mars What's that foul smell it's just Grandma's Arsenic she keeps in a jar by the clock She rubs some each night on your Grandfathers Corns, which are painful from shoes that don't fit and He feels relief when he sits down to Christmas Day, Christmas Day You never know what they are going to suggest Well then we all went for a dip in the pool Dad said to Grandpa you silly old f**wit, you're f**ed you've f**ed off with me togs Oh sh** now I've sworn and f**ed up the song, Which was never meant to be this blunt Oh f** this, get f**ed you're a big pack of Christmas Day, Christmas Day You never know what they are going to say