[Verse 1: Lil Dicky] I gotta problem with ma dick Been hatin' on him since I was a kid Way before I ever put him in a b**h, goin' back y'all Never wanna trash talk so I made a track We could rap on, keep us intact, and I know the fact Is that you j**ish, but I don't want no excuses for ya size I know hella j**ish guys who grew up between them thighs But no, you actin' like you was four, you haven't changed since we young It's sad you that immature, and I don't get it I'm getting b**hes, get you in kittens other dicks would die for But I'm barely hittin' it, when a minutes ya high score And now it's real bad cause you ain't movin on You twenty something and still live above ya two balls I been getting nine to five's But I been keepin' us wit b**hes that was tryna ride But you a maf**in' fiend, and it's mean We supposed to be a team You a dick, but I wish I had a penis [Hook 1: Lil Dicky] And this about a dick Who never took the time to grow And cum the second that he get in that vagina hole And I ain't lovin bu*ting heads like this But you gotta stop f**ing up ma sh** And I ain't feelin bad And I don't give a f** aboutcha problems But lay 'em the table, maybe we can solve 'em Cause you and I, we attached at the hip So we better get this settled up and fixed right now dick [Verse 2: Dick] Hold up Dicky you ain't really mean it You got the nerve to tell me you the one mistreated I don't believe it, it's nuffin' but egregious Cause I'm the one that's been getting beaten obscenely In this maf**a right now, that's a fact And ma homies from ma sack'll have ma back, you wackin' Me every mothaf**in day, you acting like it's okay But imagine waking up feelin' afraid, I'm prayin' You stop abusing, and you confused if you blame me for the ejacs This about your brain I came because I react Hope that you concede that cause it's on you Need to distract, what can I do if you never relax You see it's actually you that's in control all our faculties The pre-ejaculatory crap is a sorely inaccurate Actin' like you was deploring me, warranted insecurity Scoring, ignoring the forming of your own immaturity (not true) And now the prematurity's on ma head But you know damn well it should be up on yours instead But if you loved and accepted me then that wouldn't be a problem Instead I'm in a dick numbing condom [Hook 2: Dick] And this about a kid Who never took the time to grow And cum the second that he get in that vagina hole And I ain't lovin' bu*ting heads like this But you gotta stop f**ing up ma sh** And I ain't feelin' bad And I don't give a f** aboutcha problems But lay 'em the table, maybe we can solve 'em Cause you and I we attached at the hip So we better get this settled up and fixed, right now kid [Verse 3: Lil Dicky & Dick] Wow, I think you need to get a grip dude I'd say the same, but I'm betting that you will soon Real funny dick, I can't even stomach this How you gon' act like I'm wacking ya sh** for nuffin He frontin' up in this mothaf**a, bluffin' on the beat Wouldn't beat him without a reason he sung it incomplete Tell me why then, why you always tucked in ma jeans? It's cause I'm wit a woodpecker like I'm stuck in a tree Well I confess I'm erect on occasion But up in the Bahamas— hold up we that was a vacation Is that what you call it? As I recall You was mauling me day and night Only s** you got was dry, aggressively rubbing fly I was chaffed up, you the f**in' problem dicky, wake up Well what about the time you wasn't stayin' up? I was wit a top 5 dime of ma life Well you the guy that was drinkin' all the goddamn wine f** that, you a cold, crooked maf**a, where's your heart? And you a toad looking muthaf**a: Mario Kart So this is it? This is it, you a dick I need a penis No you a dick, I need a human being [Hook 3: Lil Dicky & Dick] So this sh** about a kid (dick) Who never took the time to grow And cum the second that he get in that vagina hole And I ain't lovin bu*ting heads like this But you gotta stop f**in up ma sh** And I ain't feelin bad And I don't give a f** aboutcha problems But lay 'em the table, maybe we can solve 'em Cuz you and I we attached at the hip So we better get this settled up and fixed, right now dick