S. Thompson - Memoir: Final Entry lyrics

[Verse 1] This is a memoir The last time that I'm doing this The last time I cried out for help, that sh** was a miss In this abyss I reminisce on life before the big twist I'm pretty pissed about the good times, they all got dismissed Well actually Did they ever exist I'm in the midst of all the bullsh** Can't resist the way they pull sh** On me, all the time It's like an army, the front line Is against me and if you tempt me my tank is on f**ing empty The a**embly of fallen soldiers have gently just fallen over I'm reaching for closure but in my mind there's a nova I take a sip of a soda, where I'm from we call it pop Sorry, lost my f**ing train of thought But oh well The hotel Say they hope It goes well But they hosted the party And no tickets sell Am I serious You're hearing this Ain't delirious Ain't no curing this Appetite for disaster My mind has been plastered all over the churches walls It's true, go ask you a pastor Yes, I'm a ba*tard Can't help it, I think it's something I've mastered There must be something I'm after Am I a rapper or actor Cause if I ain't a f**ing rapper then I'm great at the latter [Hook] (Improv) [Bridge] Where do I go I don't know [Hook] (Improv) [Bridge 2] We are very rare But they are them And we are many [Verse 2] My Views From The 5, they couldn't stop it from happening They didn't know the city that I'm from was just the half of it My senses are apart of this, I shouldn't have to graph the sh** And that's just when I noticed they didn't care, they gonna laugh the sh** off I gotta get off The pedestal I placed myself on I don't deserve it I hope they heard this Cause all my f**ing life I just been nervous And honestly, I just blurred it out of my mind All the good times, the bad times The in between I know I'm f**ing selfish cause all I wanna see is... Me (What does this mean?) [Outro] I heard from Drake they would rather hear about memories than enemies Rather hear what was or will be than what is Rather hear how you got it over how much it cost you Rather hear about finding yourself and how you lost you Rather you make this an open letter About family and struggle and it taking forever About hearts that you've broken and ties that you've severed No doubt in my mind, that'll make them feel better