Rusty Cundieff - My Peanuts lyrics

Well, they're low cholesterol and high protein Hotter than a Mexican jumping bean Have 'em dry roasted or vacuum packed My peanuts come alive when you open that sack Smoother than jiff and fresher than planters My peanuts exceed all standards Def enough to knock you to your knees And even planters, don't crack no nuts like these My peanuts Well, they rock, they top, they hit the spot Open a can and gobble 'em up They're ready for action, the girls do snatch 'em Sure to give you some satisfaction So let's not squibble, they sure ain't little Deffer than any ole peanut brittle And if you wanna chill, no need to get ill My peanuts give you a thrill Like Mickey dees, my peanuts and me Were tasty eating from sea to sea, my peanuts My nuts stand, tall they never fall Ripe and yes, always on the ball FDA fresh and they are the best A winner of every damn taste test Eat 'em for pleasure or at your leisure A taste that all the girls do treasure Never illin' but chillin', never stealin' but dealin' My peanuts are what you're feelin' I take 'em to the beach, I take 'em to the park I take 'em to your mother's house after dark They ain't like no nuts from Jimmy Carter I know my nuts rock you harder, my peanuts I met a home girl from around the way She saw my peanuts and wanted to play She said, can I hold your peanuts inside my hand? I said, be careful 'cause they're in demand I took my peanuts outta the sack Her hand started movin' up, down and back She squeezed too hard, I said, oh, brother It looks like you made peanut bu*ter Next time I jam her I think I am a gonna talk a little 'bout my banana Banana and nuts, banana and nuts I'm gonna give you some banana and nuts Banana and nuts banana and nuts I think you need my banana and nuts Always cla**y, never trashy, always flashy Never rashy, always tasty, never hasty Always racy, never pasty, you know nothin' Will come between us, unless of course it is (What is it?) My peanuts This girl was yellin', my head was swellin' What she was sayin', there ain't no tellin' I needed something to quiet her down And my peanuts was all I found I baked 'em, I shaked 'em and then she take 'em Soon all was quiet in the house Because my peanuts were in her mouth Like M&M's you understand They melt in your mouth and not in your hand My peanuts have the fame, my peanuts have the glory My peanuts will invade your territory My peanuts I'll tell ya a little story 'bout a man named Mel Keep his peanuts inside the shell Then one day, he got hungry for some food He ate his own peanuts now, ain't that rude? (Dry roasted, vacuum packed, on a half shell, don't tell Granny) A girl who looked much better than bad Took my peanuts from inside my bag Tasted them and then said, I had salt peanuts, salt peanuts My peanuts always rise to any occasion My peanuts can handle any social situation I met a home girl from Albuquerque Who ate my peanuts with her turkey I know this song is kinda long I guess I have ta go and I'll be gone Bust this beat just one more time 'Cause I think I have just one more rhyme Have my peanuts and a diet coke My peanuts and a little joke My peanuts and some hog jowls My peanuts and some candied yams