[Verse 1: Stephen Colbert] One, two, three, four The moon was full, it was late at night I could feel in my bones something wasn't quite right I walked downstairs and I opened the door And what I saw sent my jaw to the floor At first I was scared, then I started to giggle Cause I saw Dracula do the Halloween Wiggle [Verse 2: k**er Mike (El-P)] This ain't ya Daddy's monster mash Run the Jewels, Run the Jewels (Ay, it's a graveyard smash) Drop the pumpkin down low and make my fun size sticky I'm 'bout to find out if you a treaty or a tricky Spread your cobwebs and arch your back And I'ma stick my hand down ya candy sack [Verse 3: El-P] Shake ya money maker like a UNICEF box You don't got a condom? Use ya Supergirl socks Halloween ain't hollow and it don't run shallow Make you bite on your pillow like it's a marshmallow [Verse 4: Stephen Colbert] Well, that's one way to wiggle, but listen up close There's a creepy kind of wiggle that I dig the most You just stretch your bat wings and make 'em flap And don't forget to do the Skeleton clap [Verse 5: El-P] Make ya pumpkin clap, make the candelabra flicker I'ma haunt you so hard with my unwrapped Snickers Stick my face in the candy bowl Turn you around, lick your Hershey hole [Verse 6: Stephen Colbert] It's lots of fun if you bring your gang Just beware of Casper and his spooky-ooky chain Keep your eyes peeled for ghouls and ghosts Oh, Halloween's a treat and I dig it the most [Verse 7: k**er Mike] Take it to the graveyard like a dead-a** snitch You'll be on my broomstick like a trick-a** witch Then I bring over my skeleton crew And you can ride our bones until you scream and boo [Verse 8: El-P] Gonna give you a treat 'cause you're my trick You dress like a witch, I provide the broomstick Shake your Reese's Cups like you need the cash Then I'll hit that a** like it's a graveyard smash [Verse 9: Stephen Colbert, (k**er Mike), & El-P] Trick-or-treating's about as much fun as you can get (I'ma whip out my monster, make you s** my dick) And we're still wiggling... It's the Halloween Wiggle... Yeah, make them candy apples jiggle girl Jiggle, jiggle girl Jiggle, jiggle girl [Laughter] [Verse 10: Stephen Colbert] Just to be clear, we're talking 'bout fruit But now the party's over and it's time to scoot So go home guys, put some candles on And jack your lantern 'til the break of dawn [Outro: Stephen Colbert (k**er Mike)] (Dude, kids are watching!) He said, "Hershey hole"! You said, "Hershey hole"! You were laughing about it!