Rowlan - If I Had (remix) lyrics

[Verse 1: Rowlan] I'm tired of life Tired of biting my tongue Tired of people judging my music cause where I am from I'm the last hope that my town can imagine I'm the one who shine through when everyone and they momma rapping I'm sick of artists paying these shows to shine When they backing vocals louder then their lyrics are live Let's get real put the mothaf**in' mic down I love a good laugh but I'm supposed to be on right now So see me after and I'll peep out your freestyle But they been recorded for atleast couple weeks now? I really freestyle When I say It's off the head So we can probably cypher but nine out of ten will end up dead Naw, back to my city this sh** is real I swear you coming with me when I finally get a deal I want to show my home town that it is possible Word to this small community we see as an obstacle I ain't impressed with how you live or how you talk I'm focused on the lives of the crack babies we lost This sh** is sad cause my home ain't even a ghetto But I've had guns to head and shots sang like falsetto Say Hello to fear early But d**h has always miss me The Lord will always hug me But the devil trying to kiss me I'm sick of it, tired Blast me in the mind I bet a couple fans will miss me But the world will be fine So I'm gone tomorrow I swear my heart is hollow Cause of dike that swallow That I refuse to follow I'm not proud I'm ashamed of my past But I don't regret a thing or wish that all my friends would last I'm living proof that you can do sh** alone Just a sober lonely white boyStuck in a f**ing zone I'm on the bridge now and I'm taking off from Cape And almost every rapper called the cops and they all claiming rape