Ross Gay - Some Instructions on Black Masculinity Offered to My Black Friend by the White Woman He Briefly Dated: A Monologue lyrics

The books you're always reading? Don't you know the size of your library is in inverse proportion to the size of your penis? You don't need words with that high waistline and the howler monkeys in those cashmere pants. You think 50 Cent reads? Allen Iverson? What you ought to do is put some of your people's streets in that L.L. Bean satchel. Trick that thing out. Because you are not funky. I mean, I've seen you dance. What does your Hegel say about funk? Your Du Bois (pronounced Du BWAH)? See, I only date hood. My last man? He never even met his father. Four women, six kids. Three of whom are named after luxury cars. Child support? Do you know anything about your people? Your father probably took you fly-fishing, helped you with your geometry homework after coming home from work. You'll probably do the same. Look, I'm not exactly questioning your s**uality, but have you ever hit a woman? You'd probably just as soon date a black chick. Just as soon eat p**y. Sometimes I can't believe my eyes.