Root - I Wish I Was Tex Perkins lyrics

I wish I was Tex Perkins I wish I was Tex Perkins I wish I was Tex Perkins, He's a k**er with the ladies He's every sun kissed Aussie girls Favourite kind o' shady Lascivious, oblivious, in his gasoline stained dacks, He waits to meet your daughter on the wrong side of the tracks He's every high flying business womans idea of rough trade Even brainy feminists queue up to be enslaved He flings his tradesmans ladder up to your wifes balustrade He goes on like that endless road, he just keeps getting laid He stands astride your bedhead with those slightly bandy legs Two thousand girls call him in the night, no one ever calls him Greg No meat and three veg suburbia for this man, if you please He is Tex Perkins, he eats roots and leaves. I wish I was Tex Perkins I wish I was Tex Perkins What is Tex short for? You know, just by way of subtext Did he work with Skasey at Qintex, Or, in his case that'd be Quim-tex? Is his cerebral cortex So ma**ive its a vortex? Or is his heart so wounded, Its all wrapped up in Gore-tex Hmm, I lost your interest To get it back in context His name is probably rhyming slang For "Totally Unlimited Hot Sex" I wish I was Tex Perkins I wish I was Tex Perkins I wish I was Tex Perkins, though I'm worried about his smoking I can't see TP on an IV in some hospital bed choking But that's how we're different he don't worry 'bout no future He don't think about a cancerous football bladder bursting from a suture He don't think about amputation, the surgeons circular saw Sorry, I got a bit morbid there, I really should get out more Lets get back to why Tex is our kinda guy Unlike me, he doesn't need A persona in which to hide He doesn't need my cowboy hat, my crappy re-invention, He never had to say "Suppose a root's outta the question?" With his magnetic crotch, he's quick to scotch mere trifles like these. He is Tex Perkins, he eats roots and leaves. I wish I was He aint no Bertolt Brecht I wish I was But the ladies sure connect I wish I was Tex Perkins I wish I was Tex Perkins I wish I was Tex Perkins I wish I was Tex Perkins I wish I was Tex Perkins I wish I was Tex Perkins