Roger "conscience" Ramos - Grow A Pair lyrics

[Intro: Roger "conscience" Ramos] Oh, my God, I gotta take a piss (*panting*) Ahhhhhhhhh....sh** (*sigh of relief*) Aye, aye, man, aye Hey, can you do me a favor real quick? Just real quick Just do me a favor, and uhhh.... [Verse 1: Roger "conscience" Ramos] Run your eyes along the guys in the stalls Try to find a pair of balls as big as mine in their drawers Yeah, it may appear queer to stare at a man's spheres A friendly peer at your peers is all that I ask here Don't an*lyze the wrinkles or gaze at the man's stink hole Just get the basic size and let the man tinkle If you're staring at his dick, then that's when you're a f*ggot Not a fast little glance for who has the most baggage Jesus f**ing Christ, I sound like a f**ing f*ggot I was trying to be nice and help you understand it Now I sound like a flamer, but here's a disclaimer: I'm straighter than the facts I wrote on this paper Savor the food for thought I speak, or you could save it for later Let's start this sh** out my peak, when I was 'round the age of 8 or so I used to beat on my salami Slap my sister's dollies, saying, "Where's my f**ing money!?" Call every girl a b**h 'cause that's what daddy called my mommy Go up to all my homies like, "YO DOGGY DOGGY!" Just kidding, I don't have any friends I purposely would cuss to make a certain lady want me But wouldn't want my teacher or my mommy to hear me, so I would say 'em softly [Interlude: Roger, (Roger's Friend), and Cute Girl] Aye, aye, bro, she just walked in (What? What? Who?) Yeah, yeah, that girl I was just talking to you about! (Who? What the f**?) You know, the- The one with the big a**! (Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!) I'mma try to impress her real quick. Watch this (Alright?) Damn, mami! You looking s**y! *Cute Girl gasps* + (*Friend gasps*) Teacher! (Um, um, um, um, um, ummmmmmmmm...) Yeah! Yeah, him! He said it! He said a bad word to me! [Verse 2: Roger "conscience" Ramos] What the f**?! Why the f** you snitching, b**h?! I was trying to impress you, and this the sh** I get?! You just lost all your chances with this half-an-inch dick Yeah, I know it's f**ing big, you ain't gotta tell me sh** I already know it Everybody wants to blow me, you can ask my buddy, Coleman... Wait, that was actually kinda gay... But let's let it go like Frozen But, for the record, never seen it, and I've never owned it I never sang along to, "Do you want to build a snowman?" Never heard that song, but please don't ask me how I know it b**h, I'm not lying! I'm a motherf**ing grown man! I will admit, I'll sit at home alone and watch a romance movie 'Cause, aside from feeling b**bies, I just wanna hold hands f** your nae-nae and your whip and sh**, I wanna slow dance Can we watch Netflix without you trying to- No! Agh! Put you bra back on! I'm trying to watch the show, man! Gimme back my f**ing co*k! No condom, no chance! [Outro: Roger "conscience" Ramos] Aghh, gosh! You women are all the same! I'mma take my gargantuan penis and f**ing leave! f**ing b**h! Gah! Come on, boys, let's go watch some football! We'll go watch them make a, uh, a hole-in-one!