Roger Bart - Keep It Gay lyrics

Max: (Listen, Roger, did you get chance yet to read "Springtime for Hitler"?) Roger: (Read it? I devoured it. I, for one, for instance never realized that the Third Reich meant Germany.) Max: (Yeah. How about that? Then you'll do it?) Roger: (Do it? Of course not.) The theater's so obsessed With drama so depressed It's hard to sell a ticket on Broadway Shows should be more pretty Shows should be more witty Shows should be more... (what's the word?) Leo: (Gay?) Roger: (Exactly.) No matter what you do on the stage Keep it light, keep it bright, keep it gay Whether it's murder, mayhem or rage Don't complain, it's a pain, keep it gay Carmen: People want laughter when they see a show The last thing they're after is a litany of woe Roger and Carmen: A happy ending will pep up your play Roger: Oedipus won't bomb Carmen: If he winds up with mom Roger: Keep it gay Carmen: Keep it gay Roger and Carmen: Keep it gay Max: (Couldn't agree with you more. And you have our blessings, Roger, to make "Springtime for Hitler" just as gay as anyone could possibly want. So come on, do it for us, please!) Roger: (No, I'm sorry, Max, but it's simply not my cup of tea. But still, fair is fair. Perhaps I should ask my production team what they think. This is my set designer, Brian.) Brian: Keep it glad Keep it mad Keep it gay Roger: (And here's my costume designer, Kevin.) Kevin: Hello! Keep it happy Keep it snappy Keep it gay Brian and Kevin: We're clever, creative It's our job to see That everything's perfect For Mr. DeBris Roger: (Next, Scott, my choreographer.) Scott: Hi there! Roger: (And, ah, finally... last, and least, my lighting designer, Shirley Markowitz.) Shirley: Keep it gay Keep it gay Keep it gay Leo: (I don't think we're getting to them. What should we do now, Max?) Max: (Watch this. Roger, listen. I think that "Springtime for Hitler" would be a marvelous opportunity for you. I mean up to now, you've always been a**ociated with frivolous musicals.) Roger: (Oh, you're right. I've often felt as though I've been throwing my life away on silly entertainments. Dopey showgirls in gooey gowns. Two, three, kick, turn! Turn, turn, kick, turn!) Carmen: (Oh, Roger.) Roger: (It's enough to make you heave. Nonetheless, I'm sorry, Max. I just couldn't do "Springtime for Hitler".) Max: (Why not? Think of the prestige.) Roger: (No. ) Max: (Think of the respect!) Roger: (No, no, no.) Max: (Think of... the Tony!) Carmen and others: Tony! Tony! Tony! Tony! Tony! Roger: (Ngaaaaaahhhhh!) Max: (What's the matter?) Leo: (Is he all right?) Carmen: (He's having a stroke...) Max: (What?) Carmen: (...of genius!) Roger: (I see it! I see it! At last, the chance to do something important!) Carmen: Roger de Bris presents history! Roger: (Of course that whole second act has to be rewritten. They're losing the war? Excuse me?! It's too downbeat!) Carmen: Roger de Bris presents history! Roger: (But maybe... ooh, it's a wild idea, but it just might work...) I see a line of beautiful girls Dressed as stormtroopers, each one a gem With leather boots and whips on their hips It's risque, dare I say, S&M! Carmen and others: Love it! Roger: I see German soldiers dancing through France Played by chorus boys in very tight pants And wait, there's more! They win the war! And the dances they do will be daring and new Turn, turn, kick, turn, turn, turn, kick, turn One, two, three, kick, turn! Keep it sa**y Keep it cla**y Keep it... Max: (That is brilliant! Brilliant! Roger, I speak for Mr. Bloom and myself when I say that you are the only man in the world who can do justice to "Springtime for Hitler". Will you do it, please?) Leo: (Please!) Roger: (Wait a minute. This is a very big decision. It might effect the course of my entire life. I shall have to think about it... I'll do it!) I'll do it! Sabu, champagne! Roger, Carmen, and others: If at the end you want them to cheer Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay Whether it's Hamlet, Othello or Lear Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay Carmen: Comedy's joyous, a constant delight Dramas annoy us... Roger and Carmen: ...and ruin our night Roger, Carmen, and others: So keep your Strindbergs and Ibsens at bay... Roger: I'll sign... Kevin: Sign... Brian: Sign... Scott: Sign... Carmen: Sign... Shirley: Sign... Max and Leo: Sign... Roger: Roger Elizabeth De Bris! All: Keep it gay!