I don't like hommus, I hate long lines Nosey neighbors and venetian blinds Chirping news anchors alter my mood I'm offended by buzz-words like "awesome" and "dude" I look like a train wreck, I feel like a blob Till you get to know me, you may think I'm a snob But I'm closer to heaven than I've ever been I don't eat sushi, I don't smoke gra** I don't wear pyjamas, I don't drive fast I hate idle gossip and ta**led shoes Slick politicians, they give me the blues I don't ride in Limos, I can't play golf I don't own a rifle that will blow your head off But I'm closer to heaven than I've ever been I'm riding that way from cradle to grave I'm learning to feel my hands on the wheel I love my friends, I love my wife Four little babies are the light of my life I love Sissy Spacek, I love Guy Clark All the biscuits and gravy I can eat with a fork I don't wanna be famous, who gives a damn? I just wanna be happy where ever I am And I'm closer to heaven than I've ever been I'm closer to heaven than I've ever been Closer to heaven Closer to heaven