Robert Lopez & Jeff Marx - What Do You Do with a B.A. in English (Avenue Q) lyrics

Brian: What do you do with a B.A. in English? What is my life going to be? 4 years of college And plenty of knowledge Have earned me this useless degree! I can't pay the bills yet 'Cause I have no sk**s yet The world is a big scary place! But somehow I can't shake The feeling I might make A difference to the human race! Kate: Morning Brian! Brian: Hi, Kate Monster Kate: How's life? Brian: Disappointing Kate: What's the matter? Brian: The catering company laid me off Kate: Oh, I'm sorry Brian: Me too! I mean, look at me! I'm 10 years out of college And I always thought... Kate: What? Brian: No it sounds stupid Kate: Oh c'mon! Brian: When I was little I thought I would be A big comedian on late-night TV! But now I'm 32 and as you can see I'm not, oh well It s**s to be me! It s**s to be me! It s**s to be broke, and unemployed, and turning 33! It s**s to be me! Kate: You think your life s**s? Brian: I think so Kate: Your problems aren't so bad I'm kinda pretty And pretty damn smart Brian: You are Kate: Thanks! I like romantic things like music and art And as you know I have a gigantic heart So why don't I have a boyfriend? fu*k! It s**s to be me! Brian: Me too! Kate: It s**s to be me! Brian: It s**s to be me! It s**s to be Brian Kate: And Kate Brian: To not have a job Kate: To not have a date Both: It s**s to be me! Rod/Nicky arguing Brian: Hey Rod, Nicky, can you settle something for us if you have a second? Rod: Oh, certainly Kate: Whose life s**s more, Brian's or mine? Rod and Nicky: OURS! Rod: We live together Nicky: We're close as people can get Rod: We've been the best of buddies Nicky: Ever since the day we met Rod: So he knows lots of ways to make me really upset!! Oh! Every day is an aggravation Nicky: Come on that's an exaggeration Rod: You leave your clothes out You put your feet on my chair Nicky: Oh yeah? You do such an*l things like ironing your underwear! Rod: You make that very small apartment we share, a hell! Brian: So do you, that's why I'm in hell too! Rod: It s**s to be me! Nicky: No it s**s to be me! Kate: It s**s to be me! Brian: It s**s to be me! All: Is there anybody here it doesn't s** to be? It s**s to be me! Christmas Eve: Why you all so happy? Brian: 'Cause our lives s**! Christmas Eve: Your lives s**? I hearing you correctly? Ha! I coming to this country, for opportunities Try to work in Korean deli But I a Japanese! But with hard work I earned two master degrees! In social work And now I am therapist! But I have no clients! And I have unemployed fiancé And we have lots of bills to pay! It s** to be me! It s** to be me! I say it s**a, s**a, s**a, s**a s**a, s**a, s**a, s**a, s**a s**a, s**a, s**a, s**! It s** to be me! Princeton: Uh excuse me Sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for a place to live Christmas Eve: Why you looking out here? Princeton: Well, I started in Avenue A But so far everything's out of my price range But this neighborhood looks a lot cheaper Oh and look a for rent sign! Brian: You need to talk to the superintendent Let me get him Princeton: Great! Thanks! Brian: YO GARY!! Gary Coleman: I'm coming! I'm coming! Princeton: Oh my God it's Gary Coleman! Gary: Yes I am! I'm Gary Coleman From TVs diff'rent strokes I made a lot of money That got stolen by my folks! Now I'm broke, and I'm the bu*t of everyone's jokes! But I'm here, the superintendent On Avenue Q! All: It s**s to be you! Kate: You win! All: It s**s to be you! Brian: I feel better now! Gary: Try having people stopping you to ask you Whatchu talkin' 'bout Willis? It gets old All: It s**s to be you! On Avenue Q!! s**s to be me! On Avenue Q! s**s to be you On Avenue Q s**s to be us But not when were together! We're together here on Avenue Q! We live on Avenue Q! Our friends do too Till our dreams come true! We live on Avenue Q Princeton: This is real life! All: We live on Avenue Q Nicky: You're gonna love it! All: We live on Avenue Q Gary: Here's your keys! All: Welcome, to Avenue Q!