I'm full of Christmas semen, I don't know what that is but it's hot It's a sparkling orgasm, inside an oatmeal cookie shot And when I put my Santa hat on it's a needle full of Christmas glee Coating my house in frilly sh** And Disney trademark intellectual property Cause it's snowing I love shopping And I fu fu fu fu fu f**ing love Christmas Setting up the lights So my f**ing house sings Cause I'm f**ing batsh** crazy about Christmas If Christmas was living I'd f** it to d**h And then consume it's body For it's Christmas breath Cause it's growing I'm not stopping I fufufuf**ing love Christmas Ladies and gentlemen, did you know that on top of dying for all our sins, Jesus Christ plays a wicked electric guitar? LISTEN! You dance! You f**ing dan ce! That's our lord and savior you mother f**ers! I'll buy all things red and green Accumulating thousands in debt I'll let it ruin my life Making it the best Christmas yet And I'll play those Christmas carols until my ears will bleed with Christmas cheer It'll scare the sh** outta you but it's only getting bigger every year! Cause it's snowing I love shopping And I fu fu fu fu fu f**ing love Christmas I love those stop motion shows That scare the sh** outta me Cause I'm f**ing batsh** crazy about Christmas I bathe in hot chocolate ‘til my skin is red And I'll sing Christmas songs until your soul is dead Cause I'm soaking In sweet toppings And I f**ing love Christmas And the feels, and the deals, and the meals, and the steals at the Sears Keep it longer, make it stronger, nothing's wrong here, I could stay here all year Smell the crazy, feeling hazy, something's tasty, at the Macy's downtown Getting higher, feeling wired, I'm inspired, I'm on fire right now I love the over marketing for making deplumes By the way this song's available on itunes I wanna smash it open ‘til it's stiff and cold And maybe search its brains for its Christmas gold And then drink it's blood ‘til I lose control And the Christmas madness will take it's toll! Tranquilizer hits him It's snowing And I love shopping And I fufufufufuf**ing love Christmas Enough to build tranquilizer immunity I must be f**ing batsh** crazy about Christmas I'll k** anyone not celebrating with me Your resistance is feeding my insanity Cause it's snowing I love shopping So put that star on top the tree And buy me a f**ing tv We're going on a shopping spree My stockings filled with DVDs I my heart is filling up with glee Can't help what's is going over me I fufufufuf**ing love Christmas