Rob Fury - Now What lyrics

[Verse 1] I rise in the morning, waking up to a riddle Regret on my mind, but I'm stuck in the middle Things that I could do, things I did though My brain always takes me back when it was simple But gotta move forward, put the trophy on the mantle Cause god never gives you nothing you can't handle I done been across the world, my life's an odyssey Mecca and Medina, been where people die to see My name I don't deserve and to me it's unfortunate So when I say my name, I abbreviate or shorten it Ask how I feel and I'll say I'm indifferent But I hope you don't judge me, cause we all sin different Open up a bit, so y'all can get to know me This the reintroduction, I'm grown, I'm not my old me With that said, lemme pour my heart on this pavement And answer 'fore u ask, show what the next phase is Now what [Verse 2] Lemme take a second here to talk to my friends Cause where things end is where they often begin Rainier, Erwin, Ronald, Matthew Don Evoua, Shabaz, Skor this directed at you Carlos, Chino One Ton, Tom, Erik Estrada Mike Kaput, don't mean to forget my partners So if y'all think I'm weird, I deserve it It wasn't intentional, when I became a hermit Depressions a motherf**er, cause a downfall I was poison, tell me how I'm supposed to be around y'all As a man, if I cried, y'all would poke fun at it Cause all we did was joke around like some dumb a**es I'm trying to man up, hanging on by a thread Every night, sittin in the dark, wishing I was dead But I'm doing better now fam, so what I'm gon' say Where the f** were y'all, the phone goes both ways Even if my number changed, back in the spot I wasn't hard to find, google chattin with Shot That time I was away, new bonds was made unique With Tapia, Safik, even though we barely speak Rob and Margo Hagiu, I ain't forget about you Thank you for everything and years we went thru Rob you on these beats, and I speak from the soul It's taking tolls, no one knows the struggle making this dope We all adults here, so I speak with honestness I keep it a buck, this ain't a backhanded compliment And on this final thought, it's all love for one another Like it or not, we still brothers Now what [Verse 3] All I really want's a smile that's not a cover up I just wanna be happy and not cover up And act like I'm fine when that's far from the truth When inside my mind, I wanna jump off of a roof You know how much time, how much money I spent? Wasted it on bullsh** with different intent All this material sh** with no purpose So I'm starin at my watches and my car like it's worthless No time for enemies, I'm thinking of my health No time to battle, I'm busy beefing with myself Step out the shadows, ain't trying to hide no more Ain't trying to die no more, ain't trying to suicide no more I scratched the surface, but lemme get personal Moms gettin' sicker, Sister spinning off of vertigo Staring at they kids, I love 'em like they come from me My nieces are queens, my nephew's all sons to me Omar was born when my demons started creeping Them times I wanted to die, he was my voice of reason Imagine not hearing this, with me not breathing I'm here by God's grace n u could thank housekeeping Them demons was too strong, tugging the ropes Cause twenty fourteen, end of summer I broke All the walls caved in, my soul felt helpless Prayers ain't work, in retrospect I was selfish I'm thinking 'bout my mother tearing up and I choke I'm thinking 'bout that suicide note I'm thinking 'bout the years and the days I let pa** me But I'm here, and I made it so I guess I am happy Now what