Rittz - Unborn Child lyrics

To my unborn child This is a letter that i wrote about the child that i never had Confessions and regrets i kept inside my chest its time to let 'em hatch I dont expect to feel like I'm forgiven Your mother misses you and wishes you were sitting by her side and living Really I'm to blame mainly it was my decision I couldn't envision raising a baby and the time was ticking I ain't justifying my position i was unemployed Struggling with a life i once enjoyed I treated you like you was a problem that i want destroyed Far from being someones father i was just a boy But enough exuses tired of covering up the bruises Cherish life can't imagine what I've proven taking another human You could've been a genius A blessing sent to bring us everything instead i treated you like you were an inconvenience And it seemed i felt relieved and glad I had the choice But I can't help but wonder if you had your daddy's voice Or got your mommas looks and pretty hair Its a shame cause at the time i didn't care Didn't share the same emotions i could grin and bare Some people sit and pray for life i took for granted damn it isn't fair I took the chance and interfered with nature's course I hope the lord looks upon me kindly even though i never show remorse Im so embarra**ed too Im 24 and immature if i wasn't living off my parents I could care for you And find a house to buy And I ain't got a shred of credit and my bank account amount is dry Sometimes i think I'm just a lousy guy No doubt in mind if I was more responsible you never would've been allowed to die Ive said the hows and why's a thousand times Feeling stupid rapping to you like i knew you that's just how I try To let it out inside without a cry Wondering if you lie in heaven when i look across the cloudy sky I've gotta live with what i did and take the punishment upon my judgment Im the one who wanted it You never made any further than your mother's stomach kid This songs the only way I've ever tried confronting it I can't correct the past just know your mom regrets it bad I just wanted to explain myself because i never have And I know that i could never ask to get you back Truly yours from the dad you never had To my unborn child