Rap Contenders - Uno Lavoz vs Woodman lyrics

[Round 1 : Woodman] Real talk, j'aurais préféré clasher en français J'ai été a**imilé par la francophonie au point d'oublier comment parler en anglais Quand Dony m'a offert Uno Lavoz comme vous j'me suis dit "Eh yo, c'est qui ?" Ensuite, un côté en moi s'est manifesté même si bien trop enfoui Soudainement j'me suis rappelé que j'avais déjà fait les KOTD Les KOTD ? Mais qu'est-ce que je fous ici ? I'm here cause they needed a vagabond to sneak a stash of chron in his carry on A true man to expose a Stan behind a mask, shall I carry on ? Majestic how they gave me a plane to ride and I didn't pay a price Other than having to stay beside and endure the Puerto Rican cable guy This a dude who acts dumb and dumber versus a bum who is spitting flames I smoke weed while f**ing your mom, that's fun with dick and Jane (I'm on my Jim Carrey sh**. He's a comedian) My bars out of this world, send this man to the moon like space venturing I'll curb this b**h when I roll through with more animals than Ace Ventura I'll leave him blatenly beaten, I'll slay this comedian And send his kid to get babysat by Adrien Peterson I'm the ruthless type, bad luck like I roofed your dice GHB in your bictches' cup, I roofed your wife Act like you're going to son me and I'll lose this fight But I'm already like your son : cause I'mma ruin your life I'll do his son vile Poison in his son's vial He'll call the cops like a snitch I'll know what time it is soon as I see son dial Canibus bars ! I said, my notepad will rock your world, that's a comit book Jaws get hooked, I stood face to face with a shark and stayed so calm it booked I learn which guns to buy from reading comic books He ain't no stand-up guy so why is this comic booked ? I said Canibus bars ! On my lyrical miracle spiritual steez k** you with millions of syllables and Little Italy schemes You're as obscene as can be but even if Mystique is a skeez When she told you to "beat it" she didn't mean it litterally Who's gonna stop me ? In my home we are only known for hockey So with the blades I'm a pro Leave this hoe stretched out like he knows pilates You ain't no Miyagi You think you're a ninja cause your flow is choppy But you won't be talking When I shred you with the metal like Oroku Saki Rest in peace Donatello f** being seen with a star I wasn't trying to meet you This a snuff flick where the little b**h gets pistol whipped with the 9mm I'll turn this hasbeen battler into a pa**ed date vegetable I'll shoot a clip in France And turn this b**h into the Cannes film festival Facile ! [Round 1 : Uno Lavoz] I said yo, rebu*tal sh** My sh** I could even slow it much faster You came with gla**es acting like Canibus, well f** it I guess I'mma have to start throwing punches like Dizaster You got nothing for this battle. Paid Zero That's why you ain't got no cause You was talking about my son But you can't have kids cause you ain't got no balls b**h a** f** outta here Your chin's dirty as sh** Whatever bullsh** comes out of my mouth, you'd better say it's good You'd better play how a player should Cause if you act up, these hands will be around the neck in the woods like : Welcome to the neighborhood Red dots all over him, I don't care for those hickies Don't stick me, you don't get me ? If not, I'll f** around and have XXX (a raid ?) with the hammer like don't jinx me Don't get it ? It's cool Your mom s**s dick for calling cards and green leggings You're looking at me like "Huh ?" All of a sudden then you want to scrap What ? You don't f** with that ? Man I'll let that thunder clap I said f** around and I'll start chopping down Wood Like a motherf**ing lumberjack Your grandma sells f**ing wooden dicks Your name's Wood b**h ? I wish you wood b**h I ain't gonna never stop. We're battling here Why ? They barely understang anything that we're about to drop But yet you think you're lovable I know why we're battling here : Cause your own country don't f** with you Anyway, I never ain't about to stop I'll k** your family in front of you and let Wood watch That's what I call a grandfather clock I said you're a b**h, someone I will not fear I can see it on your face you're scared and might even shed a tear What ? You think you're gonna get somme hypeoff of me, like you gonna become top tier ? Sorry Woody, but this buzz ain't gonna happen cause for you this gonna be a light year [Round 2 : Woodman] Yo don't want no drama, wussy You said my chin's dirty ? Yeah, from diving head first in your Mama's p**y Your Mama thinks she's a hustler Cause she tries to sell used acrylic nails back to the salon She's always fiending for my pipe That's why I cracked her in the jaw I'm Latrell with a gun Shooting from long range on a murderous spree Graffiti on the sidewalk, that's the word on the street b**h, you battling in vein, get outlined if you keep babbling like a dame You better can it or I'll leave you rattled when I spray Maytag, product is sold, and I always hold a toaster I said your mom is in a Lesbian streetgang... (He's instragraming this sh** cause my bars are harder than his) Maytag, product is sold, and I always hold a toaster I said your mom is in a Lesbian streetgang called La Chocha Nostra Your mom's p**y smells like tuna tostadas In her bedroom, you'd hear voices more than uno dos Lavoz I'mma hit you with the one two, that's the uno dos Lavoz I'm so dope, you'll comatose with just uno dose, Lavoz My pengame ain't something you teach, I got that k**er quill Your pengame puts us to sleep you got that Seroquel I got so many guns and I don't give a f** where the permit's at English cigarette, I'mma burn this f*g Upgrade my bullets to raise the heat, no thermostat I'm always looking for bigger shells like a hermit crab h*mo, check, I'm fly with the weapons like Robotech Guns the size of JD, so loud they'll leave you so so deaf I got giant black arms : that's Maadou Kick in your door and piss on your floor, that's bathroom My ink will leave you permantly scarred, that's tattoo You mad dude ? Cause your punch game's weak : that's Shaq Fu This b**h queer about to get vicked here and ain't sh** fair dude Woodman, I keep lowering the piff fares fool So I'll need extra figures for your ransom, hope they're prepared to Pay to get you back with more 0's than a Ric Flair Whoo That's a lot of O's man, that's a lot of O's And if you got funds in different accounts, I'll rob him at them banks Luis Mendoza training, make him slip with the cans Fulton Reed, 44 on your back if you wanna try your luck Knucklepucks from every direction might he duck Fiends, triple dick for that Charlie, I live the Con way Leave your chick bashed bro and tell her that p**y the bomb bae Actin catty like Julie Gaffney's who she's trying to be I make her throw that vagina in the air, that's the Flying V ! I said your mom... She's a b**h man Your mom used to look like Misses December Now she's a war amp', disfigured and severed TLC, Run DMC, are just some sh**s I can mention Cause similar to them, your mom is missing a member [Round 2 : Uno Lavoz] I see you're shaking all over the place Sweat going through your pores You only talking about my mom, cause you know I f**ed yours (Only cause they can understand) I said I'm one of the best I'm looking at your chest, speaking of chess ? For acting F'd up I'll leave you F down Like the letters on your chest (Hey he get it) I said yo, I'm way better bro, compared to you I'll leave you with a hole in the middle, just like the letter O Cause this round, I got a bucket full of bad bars and I'm about to let them go And I'mma start dumping the sh** on the Wood like a Survivor episode Cause people take sh**s in the woods in a Survivor episode You mom wear skinny jeans in the summer time b**h sells m**m oils to Christians when she's wanna grind I don't understand the way you stood man Ever since I came up in this game I let that wood blam And ever since I came in your face that chain I took man I know why you name is Woodman Cause the only way you got to this spot Is by s**ing his co*k and buffing that wood, man You actually think you deserve a battle with me ? f** no ! I said I'm Puerto Rican I'll grab a blade and start to cut throats Ever since I met you in this game I was like "What's up bro ?" (You ain't need a punch like "Wooo !" ?) Well you'll get knocked out like serious Jones when he said that sh** in summer madness So what's up Hoe ? I remembered yourself in your first battle Sike I lied b**h I never saw none of you sh** Probably won't ever watch this... and I'm in it Motherf**er I'll rap till I'm finish Cause I got a knife that'll saw something like a eye witness, goodbye b**hes See, "Do or die", after that battle you gonna commit suicide I got a gun that'll put 3 O's in his head Like what you're losing by For real, if you really think of something. Like if you used the knives Your mom be jerking my dick off I'll be nailing her hands, that's crucified Now this is something that I have to get You try to prove you're not racist You say a lot of racist sh** but your hype man is black as sh** I said I'm about to re-up f** Scottie I'll get him beamed up I got that sh** when I pull it out of my pocket, these nuts [Round 3 : Woodman] It's not 1-1 it's 2-0 After this battle, me and your anorexic mom are going to cuddle I would've rebu*ted something in your verse, but there was nothing worth a rebu*tal I smoke the most potent ganja This man's poems are the poorest stanzas He'll get taxed and see who's the boss, no Tony Danza You're a horrid actor Who's dialog's the most boring chatter I'll Rob your deniro, this raging bull gonna leave a tourist trampled Doppleganger, extort and shank you in this foreign land While I tour and throw your cash at who*es and gorgeous dancers I'll own this prankster and turn his kid into an orphan after You're the reason they made a pill for the morning after I'm gonna catch you, Shang Tsung, your soul I'll capture Leave you shocked like Thor when I tote the hammer I'm not a mechanic but I always hold a ratchet My guns smokes so much It's gonna croak from cancer You're an a**hole, I'll leave you chocked and mangled Broke and fractured, the chrome will clap you, you dome will shatter Or we can box until I reduce your skull bones to fragments I'm picture perfect with the hands like George Costanza I'm a nerd with a laser on his gun. That's a techie with a beam This is the pettiest of thieves versus a genius with the deadliest of schemes b**h, you itch to run sh** but forever you gonna flee Your mom looks like Loe Pesci in a weave And your mom, she's a skeeza, a fiend for tricking That b**h blows more sax than Lisa Simpson That hoe is ravaged, she smells like moldy cabbage She has a torturous rack like Lex Luger that left me with a totaled package Your mom's teeth rattle. It's like morse code it's true f** the popo there's no telling what the 44 will do Expose you lack of heart, rip your torso in two You battled a shoe but dude it had more soul than you Keep thinking you'll prosper, I'm Big T with the boom blakka You just stepped in a bear trap, that's what I call a foot locker He thinks that he gonna get pretty women thanks to his rich gear But when it comes to driving, Manuel can't even switch gears Wood stays plotting, deeply rooted, I stick to the plans Your name is Manuel but you can't do sh** with your hands You're the shook type, cause your mom is not a diligent person Like Suge Knight she is a fat b**h who goes to prison on purpose And she instilled her son with b**ha**ness so if fits are swung in a fight He's the type to hit and run Your mom is so ugly, she's f**ing ugly She's so f**ing ugly, that we call her Fugly See that's his type of sh** Your mom is an old earth, I was mounting the shrew This boy met world and she drank from my fountain of youth Without me, she wandered years now your mother is dead Piss on her grave, i've been savage like the brother of Fred So thanks Paris, ce fut un plaisir d'avoir clash and represent Vous avez rien compris but this will be a cla**ic on the net In retrospect' it was an honor to have battled with a vet Yeah ? Well f** you too then J'suis seulement ici pour voir Maadou et Wojtek ! (Dig the sh**, dig the sh**) 3-0 body [Round 3 : Uno Lavoz] You know what ? I like the way you speak dude Since we're in Paris, I'mma speak French to It's not gonna be good though Omelette du fromage That's it Comment ça va ? I'm learning ! Ça va bien ? Where is your girlfriend ? Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir ? Pretty good, right ? The moral of this round is that you're so robotic you're almost like a cyborg We have nothing in common, as far as levels, writing sk**s, funny jokes, anything So why do I need to write more ? You think cause I came up here and f**ing around That all of a sudden that I'm the least of your opponents then I gotta deny my spot But bro, you paid for this, you didn't earn it So why do you deserve this spot ? See me, I paid for my own flights Did a lot of sh** when I started Then I came up battle who I needed to get up regardless I ain't s** nobody's dick, I ain't put money in no ones hand I did everything on myself, like a motherf**ing man So why do I need to write for you ? Why do you demand my respect ? I should be battling you ! Cause you're the one who wrote me the check But yet you think you're something. You're not, motherf**er Thats why we're battling here and not King Of The Dot, motherf**er You had to get on a flight, pay for your own hotel And you made that I came here f**ing around b**h o well But if you all gave me someone with a real rep I promise y'all I would have gave y'all more But instead you gave me this piece of sh** a** Bum a**, marked tatoo a**, blatant a** who*e I said but for real when it comes to this XXX man I had to trip I'll f** around and make you flip like gymnastics b**h Cause I wanna see if Wood box like a casket b**h I said for real 9 blaming Go to your ribs and start stabbing I'm the boss and I f** around and fire wood like we going camping I'll crack your head open with a bottle of snapple Put that 12 gauge to your head and knock out your Adam's apple Your mom s** dicks for snapples and Adam's apples She gets that Eve's treatment Weird beans, smoking that green lion I said I'll f** around and dump your head in the water I'll leave you baptized I got a gun that size Piss me off and they gonna have to hold me back like that guy But on some real sh** though I really do f** with you Thanks for having me out bro And France, I really do am in love with you