Random Encounters - The K. Rool Way lyrics

Why, what a fortuitous stroke of luck For you to meet this savvy croc Whose every interest co-intersects with your own! It's very clear to me that you're wise And I can see it in your eyes That this whole rendevouz's confounded you, y'know! Well, it's no coincidence at all Because these incidences all Have by designment caused alignment betwixt us two! So gather 'round, my new friends, and listen To my most informational disposition As I conduct my introduction just for you! Oh, everybody knows I'm evil! Rotton to the corе, straight through and through! I'm despicable and mean And I'm dastardly and green! I'm a horriblе consortable, it's true! Oh, everybody knows I'm wretched! I'm volatile and violent everyday! I'm vicious and unkind Unabashed and unrefined! So act like I and try the K. Rool Way! "The K. Rool Way," you say, "How queer!" Yes, gather 'round! Incline your ear! For I right here am very clearly King K. Rool! And since I've heard you all complaining I'm now presidentially campaigning! Ergo, my malevolental governmental rule! And while you may find this commercial A wee bit quasi-controversal I'll very soon send burly goons to break your legs! And when it comes Election Day I fully expect to hear you say That you have wrote On your vote that you support the K. Rool Way! Oh, no one's quite as qualified as K. Rool! I know much more than how to dance and sing! I've a doctorate degree Did Naval service out at sea And I'm still a first-class killer in the ring! Oh, everybody wants to join my army! Just sign this dotted line! Enlist today! Be you muscle-bound and ripped Or quite flabby and unfit Either's fine! So mind the K. Rool Way! Come one, come all! Today's the day! It's time to try the K. Rool Way! Why spend time on legislation For something dull as "education?" Let's allocate our precious funds On something cool, like laser guns! A cannon 90 meters long To shoot and blow up Donkey Kong! And once his island is no more I'll steal his Gold Banana horde! Everybody knows I'm brilliant! No monkey makes a monkey out of me! I'll use my foxy girth To jump around and shake the earth! Then I'll flatten all combatants expertly! Oh, everybody knows... I'M AWESOME!!! It's clear that I'm superior to DK! Support my wicked schemes Or I'll liquefy your spleens! Fall in line behind The K. Rool Way!