Rachel Bloom - Ping Pong Girl lyrics

[JOSH & BACKUP SINGERS] Whoa! Yeah! Ok! Hey! Whoa! Bros! Beer! Sports! [JOSH] When she walked into the ping pong hall Casually tossing a ping pong ball I could tell she's the most perfect girl Who's ever existed! [JOSH & BACKUP SINGERS] Dude! [JOSH] Aw man, look at her pong that ping! When she plays she doesn't care If anyone's watching! She does it for herself And that puts my fears to rest! [JOSH & BACKUP SINGERS] Bro! [JOSH] After each rally, she chugs beer Instead of water! She's so aloof, it borders on cold And that's what makes me want her! Ping pong Girl! She's so independent! This fantasy beats out Flight attendant! She's playing ping pong On her own terms So I'm the pursuer! [Pursuer] Ping pong Girl! Her forehand is a jet stream! And her backhand's Right out of a s** dream! And that's the best Messy bun I've ever seen In the world! My p-p-ping-pong girl! Girl! Girl! Dudes sing these kinds of - [JOSH & BACKUP SINGERS] Songs! Whoa! Bro! Sega! Jock itch! [JOSH] When she serves the ball Look how she throws it She's so hot But she doesn't know it! She probably just found That outfit laying around! [Like in the trash!] Look at her sk** on The ping-pong...uh, court? Nothing's hotter than a chick Who's good at sports! Whoa! She scored 1,000 points! I think I love her! [That's a lot of points!] Ping-pong shows that she has Control over her body! But it doesn't threaten My masculinity like Basketball or hockey! Ping-pong girl! She's like Serena or Venus! Just watching her swing Affects my penis! You know us dudes We love to talk About our penises! [Our penises!] Ping-Pong girl! She is so indifferent! It makes me want A tangible commitment! She and I should give A 30 year mortgage a whirl! My p-p-ping-Pong girl! Girl! Girl! Girl! [JOSH & BACKUP SINGERS] Marriage! [JOSH] Girl! Girl! Let's share a Costco card!