Rachel Bloom - Luigi's Ballad lyrics

[Luigi: Danny Sexbang] Princess Peach Won't you listen to my speech I don't have any stars of invincibility But you're the brightest star in the sky tonight for me I'm your Luigi [Mario: Egoraptor] What up, b**h, I got a one-up, b**h What's inside the question block; it's my dick It's-a-me, a-Mario, I'm more Italian than pastrami I'll take you by the peaches and give you the hot salami I save you from dragons and evil Boos that are spooky Must I be a raccoon to get inside your tanooki I will mount you like Yoshi and show you things you've never seen My mushroom's now mega, if you know what I mean So s** it [Luigi] Mario, you always do this sh** I like a girl and then you ruin it By yelling stuff about your dick Until they go away [Peach: Rachel Bloom] Hey Luigi, it's okay That Mario's a bit risque Just tell me what you need to say Please don't be afraid [Luigi] Oh, princess, it means so much for me to hear you say that The only thing I've ever wanted to tell you is that-goddamn it [Mario] I'm here to pleasure that a** I'd like to go first, princess, but I always come last And you say we'll get together but I'm jacking off alone Koopa Troopa skeletons aren't the only dry bones I am tired of your run around it's such a f**ing ha**le I go through sh** and then you're in another f**ing castle You gotta think about it, well I don't believe the hype You'll have a lot of time to think when you are smoking on my warp pipe [Peach] O-M-G, I can't decide On which of you should be the guy To take me on your mustache ride That'll redefine my life [Peach & Luigi] I'm ready to give love a shot It's not about how many coins you've got I just know I like you a lot [Mario] Yo, s*uts, check out my yacht (Ugh) [Luigi] Let me take you on a magic kart ride [Mario] I'll bust all your balloons when I smack your backside [Luigi] We'll have such fun, I'll bring my friends along [Mario] I'll kick that Donkey Kong right in his konkey dong Come on, Peach, it's time to make your choice I'm the only plumber that can make your b**bies rejoice Green, lanky-a** brother ain't got sh** on me It's time to live out our story, of the princess and the pe-(nis) [Mario] So, who's it gonna be, princess? [Peach] I choose...Toad [Mario Bros] Toad?! [Peach] Well his whole body's shaped like a dick [Mario Bros] Oh yeah, mmmhm, yeah, definitely, mushrooms look like dicks