R.A. The Rugged Man - Crustified Christmas lyrics

[Verse 1: R.A. The Rugged Man] Listening to Christopher Wallace, wait, hold up, it's the holidays Put on Run-DMC, Christmas in Hollis And if you're rocking a yamaka happy Hanukkah There's icicles hanging from the roof and gutters, and snow on the thermometer Jack Frost, he a cold man Snow White ho looking for blow from Frosty the Snowman Chris Greenwood was a b**h, I kicked him in his big jaws I visit Miss Claus, got her clothes ripped off But that old b**h got my dick soft, now the elves are pissed off Santa's big a** look like a white Rick Ross Sugar pancakes, syrup and marshmallows in the hams I got a pair of Puma sneakers, look like MC Shan In school we'd make fun of kids that were Jehovah's Witness Cause they couldn't celebrate Halloween, birthdays and christmas Now I'm kissing the clit, it bleeded, what the hell, gross Come out the p**y looking like Rudolph with the red nose Train sets, toy trucks from Tonka, Italianos mangia My black people light a candle for Kwanzaa I don't care if I get coal for stocking stuffers I'mma find Santa's little helpers and midget talk the motherf**ers [Hook: R.A. The Rugged Man] Go Jesus, it's your birthday! Go Jesus, it's your birthday! Go Jesus, it's your birthday! Go Jesus, go Jesus! [Verse 2: R.A. The Rugged Man] Sleigh bells jing-jingaling, front door ring-dingaling Kids singing in the bling-bling sickening D-flicks, silent night, deadly night, church picketing Hannukah menorah candle light flickering Families bickering, let me spin the hot bar Rockstar, where my m**ms? Allah Akbar! Want a walkman, a VCR, wait, time out I want a red ryder BB Gun to shoot my eye out The big Christmas picture is ridiculous Santa Claus is based on a Catholic bishop named Saint Nicholas Years before he was at the North Pole chilling He was rumoured to resurrect the bodies of mutilated children But it's Christmas and my little niece got Bieber fever I'm in L.A, I'll pick her up the CD at Amoeba I hate to bring in the new year with a dark side But who gon' drop the ball in Times Square now that Dick Clark died [Hook] [Verse 3: Mac Lethal] C'mon, Get Poor or Die Tryin' Consumerism is a new religion for the people in stores that lie crying? Praying, just wishing for a great sale Traded in my '64 to listen to the sleigh bells f** it, it's a holidays b**h I ain't buying any presents, I'mma walk away rich I mean I'm Satan Claus, I'm a selfish f** I ain't giving any gifts to these helpless schmucks Should I smack Grandma or let her talk instead? b**h looks like she belongs on The Walking Dead I can't stuff her when words are in her mouth I listen to that talking head, when I be burning down the house I flame "f**" to the mammoth elephant The hammer fell, and then I cooked a little honey ham and gelatine I blast, I burn in your heart, three dudes ringing your bell Hoping they're tools like Nebraska Furniture Mart Oooooooh sh**! A lotta hippie b**hes take molly, looking stupid with the glow sticks You people never seen a boy like this I punch your baby momma in the f**ing muay Thai clinch You need to stop looking at the toys I get I'm the grinch penny-pinching every coin I flip I'm a hip-hop head, I ain't a hipster person That watches The Office the British version (Go Jesus!) I'll take you on a big excursion Hopefully I'll get the words in The last year Santa ate the cookies and he dropped down the whiskey So I'mma clap his a** when he come down the chimney (Go Jesus!) Huh, It's the exorcist Are you a naughty a** b**h? Let me check my list I drink Jesus blood, and tell him to bless my piss Mac Lethal, Rugged Man, here's your X-mas gift!