Well baby Johnny-Two-Times took a walk alright To the hard-on row, it was a cold dark night Meaner than Satan, smooth as a shark Around the corner of love he heard the wild dogs bark He heard the lady scream all down the line He pulled down his pants and got ready to grind Now little Suzy Ballcrush she was pretty messed up In her evening gown looking for you know what She met the two-times man, such an ugly sight She said it's do or die and then he pulled a knife Like the stars in the sky They shine so bright at night But there's trouble ahead This is what I say: It's gonna be a cold heart disaster Are you talking to me now? Said Suzy to the master It's gonna be a cold heart disaster Should have stayed at home Or walked a little faster Well baby Johnny-Two-Times' pretty hot tonight Walking down the street gently stroking his knife Meaner than Satan, crude as a dog With a smile on his face he took a ride on the hog Little Suzy Ballcrush don't you be afraid Because bad motherf**ing Johnny is minute made So don't you ever feed hungry birds in the street Cause you never know who you're about to meet There's a lesson they learned and then their fingers got burned Because of bad f**ing Johnny I can hear Suzy curse