Professor Elemental - Cup Of Brown Joy lyrics

[spoken:] Love a cup. I would--oh God, yes. Oh, that is gorgeous, yeah. I need a cup of the brown stuff, the shade of an acorn Made warm by the same source that I take my cakes from Using a teapot, a mug or fine china Been hooked up to IVs, need constant supplies And a drip for my urges might verge on perverted But for earthy brown tea, I'm certain it's worth it! With Sherpas who work herds and use a fresh fountain I've discerned brews from Peruvian mountains I've slurped up a cuppa from an elephant's trunk With a couple of monks who utterly stunk I've had bourbons with sultans and creams with queens And I've bathed in Earl Grey--I'm really that keen! And missionaries dismiss me for my single epiphany The diff between him and me is a simple sip of British tea! So when times are hard and life is rough, You can stick the kettle on and find me a cup Now, when I say "Earl Grey," you say "Yes, please!" Earl Grey! (Yes, please!) Earl Grey! (Yes, please!) When I say "Assam," you say "Lovely!" Assam! (Lovely!) Assam! (Lovely!) When I say "Ooh," you say "Aah!" Ooh! (Aah!) Ooh! (Aah!) Ooh! (Aah!) [spoken:] Ooh, yes, I'll do a number on you. I've been around the world in eighty brews, to see the place it takes me to To make a brew that tastes like the cream cakes made by angels do I'm not the same as you, get shaky but aim To swig amazing fluids but don't make it the same Now, using fine leaves picked by pretty maidens, In a bag knitted by a seamstress who lives in Copenhagen Brewed up in a pot made of semi-precious metal, Let the blessed contents settle in my very special kettle! Now, when I say "Oo," you say "long!" Oo! (long!) Oo! (long!) When I say "Herbal," you say "No, thanks!" Herbal? (No, thanks!) Herbal? (No, thanks!) [spoken:] Hm, no. No, I want--I want milk in it. Strong, though--I want to see that spoon stand up! If you're tired of tea then you're tired of life Hah! I'm madder than a hatter and it fires my mic Liken to me to Earl Grey, Assam, or Ginger Lapsang Souchong, raise my pinkie finger! Keep your sodding coffee in a proper copper coffee pot And spot me lobbing teapots at your poncy rotten coffee shop Coffee clots, nodding off--lost the plot, sodding off Need some caffeine, tannin, and a Battenberg to top it off! Cut from off a different cloth, a different lot can take their beer On 80 cups a day, I haven't slept for 80 years! You could say I'm mad for tea--or, or just say I'm mad-- Oh, you can't stay any longer? Oh, actually, I'm, I'm quite glad-- All the more Battenberg for me-- I can barely pour, my hands have gone a bit shaky from caffeine-- I love it though, I'd sell me own grandma for a cup... Well, I'd sell YOUR grandma for a cup...