Dorothy was a waitress on the promenade She worked the night shift Dishwater, blonde, tall an' fine She got a lotta tips Well, earlier I'd been talkin' stuff in a violent room Fightin' with lovers past I needed someone with a quicker wit than mine Dorothy was fast Well, I ordered, "Yeah, let me get a fruit co*ktail, I ain't too hungry" Dorothy laughed She said, "Sound like a real man to me You kinda cute, you wanna take a bath? Do you wanna, do you wanna? Bath" I said, "Cool, I'm leavin' my pants on", "What you say?" "'Cuz I'm kinda goin' with someone" She said, "Sound like a real man to me Mind if I turn on the radio?" "Oh, my favorite song," she said An' it was Joni singin' 'Help me I think I'm falling' Ring, the phone rang an' she said "Whoever's callin' can't be as cute as you" Right then an' there I knew I was through Dorothy Parker was cool Well, my pants where wet, they came off But she didn't see the movie 'cuz she hadn't read the book first Instead she pretended she was blind An affliction brought on by a witch's curse Dorothy made me laugh I felt much better so I went back To the violent room Tell us what you did, what you did? Let me tell you what I did I took another bubble bath with my pants on All the fightin' stopped Next time I'll do it sooner This is the ballad of Dorothy Parker Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker Well, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, well