Poxy Boggards - The Man Who Doesn't Like Beer lyrics

Come gather good people and hear the strange tale Of a man who was known in each county and vale In a pub down in London called the White Horse's tail Sat the one man in England who didn't drink ale He's known in each tavern, both distant and near: That queer little fellow who doesn't like beer. His father disowned him by the grief and the shame His wife, she divorced him and his son changed his name No country will claim him and them we can't blame For not drinking beer is his one claim to fame He's known in each tavern both distant and near: That sober ne'er-do-'ell who doesn't like beer. One day we conspired to drive him quite mad: So I pissed in his tankard where his water he had I set it before him saying "try this me lad", He took a big sup and said "this one's not bad!" He's known in each tavern both distant and near: That perplexing ba*tard who doesn't like beer. Through song and through story his prominence rose Till the Queen saw the portrait of him in repose He tried to impress her by wearing new clothes And a picture of drinking while holding his nose He's known in each tavern both distant and near: That strange motherf**er who doesn't like Lambics or lagers or bitters or bocks Or pilsners or porters or mead sweet and clear Whether stouts or old weizens or ales brown and pale, That strange motherf**er who doesn't like beer!