One took an axe and headed into the woods His hand it slipped, the blade his leg did strike The backbone snapped beneath a falling tree It was but moss that heard his final sigh The other took a boat and went to fish But, tangled in the net, fell overboard His cries for help were lost in morning mists Alone he drowned and to the bottom sank The third one very rarely ventured out It was his task to write obituaries Tonight he broke and wrote one to himself His belt became his final festive tie