Phora - Scars lyrics

I've been trying to stay away from mirrors Guess I'm to scared to face my fears There ain't nothing scarier then not knowing if you know yourself Speak my emotions I just hope it helps Sometimes I think about my life and I search for the meaning Looking for temporary angels to permanent demons Sometimes these people call me family just for they convince Take me for granted while I'm here but get hurt when I'm leaving Leaving all my reasons to k** in a box beside me If you choose to open it brace yourself but don't try me Cause I don't want to turn to that person that's so unlike me But f** with my family I guarantee I won't take it lightly I might be a lil different now It's different now The love we have was toxic so we keep our distance now We used to want to ride for eachother Die for eachother Now we point the finger say names and lie to eachother So it's f** love and I numb the pain with this Hennessy I hurt the people that always end up forgiving me And all this money brought the fake people closer to me And most the ones I truely love just haven't spoken to me But as of lately I ain't got the time And if you hear the song just know you on my mind I wrote this as I'm trying to pull through In hopes that you understand that I'm no different than you Right now I am here I have scars but no fear Never thought I'd get this far Ohhhhhhhuuuuuuuuu I got this situation I'm dealing with currently, my shorty had an abortion Who's to blame her or me I feel the guilt that's inside of me steadily burning me Turning my stomach eating my spleen I'm bleeding internally f**… turning me to this person I hate see the worst in me The day she got out of surgery Pray someone would murder me Smile to cover the pain so these people don't see this hurt in me And that's probably the reason it's been so long since you heard from me But one of my brothers is doing life living life alone Said he was raised by the streets so prison is like his home Seems the world forgot he existed its like he's gone But I still keep in contact with him last night he hit my phone We talked about the past reminisced on the time that's gone That's when he stopped and he told me that his fate was set in stone He said my motivation is when you speak in that microphone You make me want to go back in time just to right my wrongs Damn… That put me right in my place Broke down and wiped the tear off the side of my face I'm self conscious about myself not knowing I could be great I focus on my weaknesses not realizing my strengths If you can relate You know how I feel right now And probably hate me for it But this sh** is real right now Cause if I ain't have music And I ain't have you to keep me sane, I probably OD on these pills right now We are misunderstood by the unforgiving Apologies to my mom's for the way I'm living We both share the same pain so we ain't to different But I can't help but feel like I'm drowning and somethings missing See I just want to be heard I got my story to tell Stabbed in the back shot in the head going through hell Feel like I fell But I wrote this as I'm trying to pull through In hopes that you understand that I'm no different than you Right now I am here I have scars but no fear Never thought I'd get this far Ohhhhhhhuuuuuuuuu