Phora - Fake Smiles lyrics

It's like, the more I try, the less I feel In desperate need of something real Why, lately I ain't been the same? I try so hard to hide this pain I search, but I can't ever find Can't seem to leave my past behind Cause all the ones I hope would stay Are all the ones that fade away Truth is I think about you often I miss your voice, I miss your smile that I used to get lost in I know you know I have this thing for you, I never lost it I think I just lost myself, in the midst of the non-sense 9 times out of 10, I'd close my eyes and dream about you Don't know what it was, but you just had this thing about you Lately we've been distant, see, I just can't be without you And my soul got so attached to yours, I can't be me without you But, we hate ourselves because we run from the people we love And we all hold on to the past 'cause we miss what it was Don't wanna feel so we try to numbin' the pain with these d** Living in hell, 'cause we lost faith in the place up above And my anxiety is breaking me, it k**s me I'm living in a world so fake, I lost touch of the real me Had to take a look back, just to ask me if I'm still me And would I still stand for this if they wanted to k** me? I can't take it no more, I just can't take it no more I can't smile like I'm okay, I just can't fake it no more I can't act like I've been happy and complacent no more Cause every time I try to change, it is the same as before My karma is coming, my karma is coming, it's weighting in I'm drinking 'till all my feelings just fade away again And mama, she always told me "this ain't the way to live" But, when you feel what I'm feeling that's just the way it is I'm trying not to break down but I just can't hide this pain Saw myself in the mirror and I'm just not the same But who's to blame? I guess we all change We hurt the ones we love because of our pain (f**) It's like, the more I try, the less I feel In desperate need of something real Why, lately I ain't been the same? I try so hard to hide this pain I search, but I can't ever find Can't seem to leave my past behind Cause all the ones I hope would stay Are all the ones that fade away Are all the ones that fade away Are all the ones that fade away