Paul Q. Kolderie - Shores of California lyrics

He's been trying with limited success To get this girl and get into her dress But every time he thinks he's getting close She threatens d**h before he gets a chance And that's the way it is in minnesota And that's the way it is in oklahoma That's the way it's been since protozoa First climbed onto the shores of california And she's been trying with limited success To get him to turn out the lights and dance Cause like any girl all she really wants That fickle little b**h romance That fickle little b**h romance And that is why a girl is called a tease And that is why a guy is called a sleaze And that's why god made escort agencies One life to live and mace and GHB And that's the way it is in minnesota And that's the way it is in oklahoma That's the way since the animals and noah First climbed onto the shores of california Must not be too kind Stop thinking love is blind Clench your fists yeah write “she's just not my type...” Why all these conflicting specifications Maybe to prevent overpopulation All I know is that all around the nation The girls are crying and the boys are masturbating And that's the way it is in minnesota And that's the way it is in oklahoma That's the way Aristophanes and homer Wrote the iliad and lysistrata (not in that order...) And that's the way it is in minnesota And that's the way it is in oklahoma That's the way it's been since protozoa First climbed onto the shores of california