Paul Heaton - 10 Lessons In Love lyrics

You Keep 'em busy talking and they probably won't notice your weight (That's 1) No one counts the acres in the field when they're swinging on gate Distracting their attention is achieved with a worrying ease They can't taste the fruit if they're too busy swinging the trees The scar you conceal the stretch marks covered up at all times Won't ever surface if you shag him and start talking star signs (That's 2) There's a thousand sweeping statements that you can use before he reaches the bra And if he's close to unhooking the truth whisper "Time at the bar" (That's 3) If you brush up on History and Science he'll be able to blag The "She's too intelligent" or "She's just a friend we don't shag" (That's 4) Don't wave him goodbye Don't say you'll see him around (5 - 6) Knowing he'll say you were a pig when he thought you were sound And if all 10 lessons in love weighed a stone a piece You'd be bigger and more beautiful and hiding men in every crease Hooking men is easy losing them is tougher by far Cause if they're drunk enough to f** you then they wont be driving home in their car So get him in a cab, make him pay drag him into your flat (That's 7) Keep him topped up with whatever got you as far as that (That's 8) And in the morning when he opens his eyes let it all hang down (That's 9) Then time how long it takes him to ask for a taxi to town Don't wave him goodbye Don't say you'll see him around (5 - 6) Knowing he'll say you were a pig when he thought you were sound And if all 10 lessons in love weighed a stone a piece You'd be bigger and more beautiful and hiding men in every crease One night stands shouldn't fill themselves with shame Maybe just a promise next time to take a steadier aim Why every guy denies receiving 1st prize Like its pumpkin or marrow at fayre not a human with eyes Don't wave him goodbye Don't say you'll see him around (5 - 6) Knowing he'll say you were a pig when he thought you were sound And if all 10 lessons in love weighed a stone a piece You'd be bigger and more beautiful and hiding men in every crease Trapped by the mob he'll confess that he stayed the whole night But only agreed after putting up a hell of a fight And if you leave him your e-mail address it's a pretty safe bet (That's 10) He'll be hiding his computer and denying ever using the net