Patfan - Mercy vs Medic lyrics

[Intro] Prepare yourselves For a rap battle unlike any you've heard before They've got the wholesome heals, the biggest buffs The strongest support around Take it away! [Mercy] It's time for your prognosis, the doctor is in Heroes never die, but you're not one of them I arrive on swift wings, like a bird in a hurry If you have an emergency, get word out to Mercy I may have a halo, but I'm no angel With my damage buffs I can make your life painful Who will patch you up after I've hurt you badly? Better call the medic - oh wait, that's me! [Medic] (Haha) Prepare for your examination If you don't have your papers then you face extermination Pardon me, frau, how did you become a doctor? Where I'm from, only men get that job offer Did I strike a nerve? Yes, I think it's working! See, healing is not as rewarding as the hurting You were doomed from the start, dummkopf And your lyrics are almost as weak as you are [Mercy] I'm at the top of my field I could give you guidance After all, I heard about how you lost your license Messing with me isn't healthy, here's a warning After this battle take some aspirin And call me back in the morning For your sake, I hope that you can self-heal quickly I can glide and fly, good luck keeping up with me Pity on your bad rhymes always flatline On a scale of 1 to 10, where's your pain at? [Medic] NEIN! Stay where you belong, on the sidelines Or the only flatlining will be your vital signs Your healing stream won't clean up this bloodbath My Ubercharge is Wunderbar, your sk**s are Wunderbad I haven't lost my sanity, I'm simply going mad k** them all! Those are just the voices in my head Wait, hold the mic, I need to heal my team, stat! [Mercy] So do I, sorry, we'll be right back! [Hook] I can give you strength I can make you tough I will heal all your pain And your attack will be buffed If I can't use weapons, or defend you with violence I'll have your back and help you k** them with kindness [Medic] Alright, enough with that scheisse! [Mercy] Watch your language, schweinhund! [Medic] Hey! That's my word! [Mercy] I know, because it describes you perfectly [Medic] Let me give you some doctor-a**isted homicide [Mercy] Hold on, am I speaking to Jekyll or Hyde? My diagnosis - split personality Check your mail, I'll send my consultation fee But it doesn't take a doctor to see that There is no prescription to treat whatever he has Your overheal is overrated A quick-fix won't save you from being outdated My ultimate can raise the dead from the grave [Medic] But be careful when you use it, it might go to waste! You'll never get close enough to put it in action Have you ever seen combat? Or are you always this pa**ive? I hope you have no phobia with syringes Because it wasn't medicine that I've put in them Soon I'll be saying, auf wiedersehen As for the XP I've gained, Danke Schoen My ubercharge is almost ready my friends [Mercy] But if you get k**ed you'll have to recharge it again Could I borrow your bonesaw for one moment, dear? I'm performing an autopsy on your career Ever heard of the Hippocratic Oath? [Medic] REDRUM, REDRUM! [Mercy] I didn't think so How ironic, Mercy destroyed ya And I enjoyed it - schadenfreude [Medic] Above all else, do no harm You won't have that problem with your wimpy sidearm When I use my crossbow my range is even longer If you wanted to do that, you'd have to talk to Ana I would finish you off, but my team can do the rest I have better things to do - Oktoberfest! [Mercy] Wait a second medic, my team needs health again! [Medic] So does mine, why am I the only one helping them? [Hook 2] You will be cared for You'll be kept alive I can be your support Just try not to let me die I'm defending our dps, and buffing our tanks It just s**s when no one gives us a "thanks" [Heavy] Nobody wants to thank you, they all think you are crazy! [Medic] I will murder them all! [Mercy] You need professional help, and I'm here to listen I know your ego is in critical condition [Medic] (Haha) Speaking of critical, taste my Kritzkrieg! And I'm so quick, Widowmaker couldn't hit me! You are snail, I am schnell [Mercy] Say hello to Adolf when you see him in hell Biohazard - my rhymes are dirty [Medic] At the end of this rap, I will show no Mercy! [Mercy] Maybe we can reach a medicinal agreement [Medic] When it comes to healers, everybody needs them And we get no credit! [Mercy] Well said, Medic! [Player] Hey, can I get a heal over here? [Both] FORGET IT! [Hook 3] I'm done cleaning up Cause I quit this job I've been working my a** off Like a single mom When a healer's neglected, then you'll all end up dead Next time I die I'll just respawn as offense! [Outro] [Player] Hey, can I get a heal over here? Where are the healers at? Come on, I've died, like, three times, where are the healers? I need some heals! Somebody? Can I get some support? We need some heal- ugh oh my god I need a res! Hello? Oh come on, why weren't you buffing my attack? Ugh Somebody! Can I get a res?