Every day in lunch in high school and all my senior year I'd drink my c**a cola with a touch of Everclear I never had to study math, science, or history I'd have a chemical flash back to jog my memory My junior year I swore I loved sweet Miss Sherri Ann One night I put some Everclear in her Dr. Pepper can Well I thought it'd make her easy She took it pretty hard I took her home and rang her doorbell left her lying in the yard Chorus Tequila dries me out Beer just makes me fat Whiskey makes me nauseous Now tell me who the hell needs that So if youre thinking about drinking Well the answers crystal clear It's the invisible, intoxicant It's called Everclear I remember my church picnic In the spring of '89 Yeah they had four fresh watermelons Sliced right off the vine When they bowed their heads giving grace for the food Hey I pulled out my bottle and I soaked them melons good Well they never knew what hit em When that potion went to work They had grandmas doing back flips Grandpas looking up their skirts They were singing hallelujah and Willie Nelson songs Preacher said it was the best dang picnic That the Baptists had ever thrown Chorus Tequila dries me out Beer just makes me fat Whiskey makes me nauseous Now tell me who the hell needs that So if youre thinking about drinking Well the answers crystal clear It's the invisible, intoxicant It's called Everclear When I'm drinking Everclear I think I'm king of this whole world I'm bigger and badder than John Wayne Cooler than Steve Earl Until I wake up and I'm face down in the hall Hey I'm completely naked for a reason I can't recall Well I'm kinda sorta thinking that maybe I met chick Cause there's perfume in the air And there's lipstick on my neck Well I hope that she was pretty And I hope that she was kind Enough to leave my clothes somewhere They're easy to find Chorus Tequila dries me out Beer just makes me fat Whiskey makes me nauseous Now tell me who the hell needs that So if youre thinking about drinking Well the answers crystal clear It's the invisible, intoxicant It's called Everclear