Outcast Youth - Days like this lyrics

Chorus: They tell me my condition is incurable, They tell me that i need to take these d** to numb the pain, It's days like this I just wish I could rewrite my history, But I must live with my mistakes. V1: I made a bunch of bad decisions since you last heard me spitting, On my last mixtape, now I'm different, Lost all faith in my mission, my rap compositions, Reflective of the life that I'm living, The man in the mirror doesnt like what he sees, I lost my best friend to a f**ed up disease, The same old routines, The 9 to 5, I'd die to find my meaning, A purpose for life but I'm barely breathing, Alive in the sense that I'm barely surviving, Dreaming of d**h in the silence, Living on my own and i'm hiding, Self confinement, Load the clip, give permission to fire it, I'm dressed to k**, repressed my sk**, I dont even rap no more, cause I'm ill, I weigh my options, a bottle of pills, Take a blade to the wrist or a trip from a bridge. V2: I watched my dying nan take her last breath before my eyes, Her silhouette laid in front of the light, On that hospital bed I saw her frail chest rise, Thats the image in my head still frozen in time, It used to play on repeat when I'd close my eyes, Until I supressed the memory deep inside, It's when you feel pain and you don't even cry, It just balls like a knot but the ends are tied, Unpick, unravel, un kick that gravel, Unleash that beast and fight that shadow, Jamie Carragher, never been afraid to tackle, The issues of my past til my raps have plateaud, Surrounded by a world of a**holes, Hypocritic Christians with whips and shackles, To quell rebellion and storm the castle, Get kicked off the highway? I'm taking the backroads. V3: Music is my release, it's the only thing i need, When carrying the pain of 500 Genevieves, 200,000 people told the world that "I bleed", So i need strength to guide me, But how can I be responsible for everyone, Theres people waiting on my album, get it son, Set a deadline, easier said than done, Cause when my life is a mess how do I become, That tower of strength Outcast Youth, When Paul Pabs Melia isnt fit to step in the booth, In a ball on the floor with a razor, Scratching the surface in various places, I lost everything, my world has fallen apart, Looped beats on repeat and it's hard, To plunder and pluck all the words from my heart, And bring people hope through my scars, But it's a start.