OTHASYDE - I spent the whole summer crying and i didn't know why lyrics

[verse 1:Darby O'Trill] I'm drifting into the forbidden zone/there's a glitch in my brain call missingno/if you can fix it then let me know/because living with this is just getting difficult/take may prozac my zoloft and my depakote/xanex,effexor,cymbalta and lexapro/but the monster won't let me go/instead it seem he becomes more unbearable/pills in my stomach,sludge in my lungs/lysergic dissolving,corroding my tounge/i once had a life but i sold it for d**/what use is a heart when it's broken and crushed/i've always had problems with opening up/the world is so vile so who do i trust?/i feel like everything is stupid as fucc/hate is so easy to confuse with love/is this what it feels like to drown?/i don't know why all of this happened or how/i keep blacking out waking up on the couch/bleeding from both my wrists and foaming from the mouth/i'm just a freak on a leash/carving my arm with the mark of the beast/smoking some weed/watching dragon ball z/while i'm crafting a noose using goosebumps sheets [Chorus:DARBY O'TRILL] I spent most of my life sleeping on a bed of knives/i'm so dead inside,i'm so,i'm so dead inside I spent most of my life sleeping on a bed of knives/i'm so dead inside,i'm so,i'm so dead inside [VERSE 2:DARBY O'TRILL] I look in the mirror and receive a message/you're a big pun with no talent intended/looking myself in the eyes while i said it/i've never been one to give me any credit/perusing the depths of my mind by each section/all have been overpowered by depression/toxins corrode my liver and intestines/ my head full of nothing but un answered questions/loathing myself in the dark of my room/to say i'm ok is so far from the truth/d** only make it much harder to move/the pain is forever my body a tomb/mood stabilizers don't work anymore/i'm still suicidal it's worse than before/i wish i could break the confines of this corpse/forever i'm cursed to be stuck in this mental warp [Chorus:DARBY O'TRILL] I spent most of my life sleeping on a bed of knives/i'm so dead inside,i'm so,i'm so dead inside I spent most of my life sleeping on a bed of knives/i'm so dead inside,i'm so,i'm so dead inside [VERSE 3:DARBY O'TRILL] When i was just a kid/i was kicked out of the bible study/because i had colored an angels wings black and made both of it's eyeballs all bloody/if there's a god she don't love me/i lay in the plot you all dug me/using the dirt and the worms that surround me as an earthly blanket to cover my ugly/most of my life i have wanted to die/and to be honest i never knew why/i might say i'm fine but i'm seldom alright/i prefer to stay inside away from the light/feeling so twiztid like i was a mutant/the medications only make me feel stupid/why am i here? i'm totally useless/i'm starting to doubt if i am even human/mechanical/but how can you program a brain/when it's broken in so many ways?/i can't be fixed so just throw me away/into a grave where i'll slowly decay/my spirit descends to the real of the shadows/my life wasn't long but it sure was a battle/it sure was a battle/my life wasn't long but it sure was a battle... [Chorus:DARBY O'TRILL] I spent most of my life sleeping on a bed of knives/i'm so dead inside,i'm so,i'm so dead inside I spent most of my life sleeping on a bed of knives/i'm so dead inside,i'm so,i'm so dead inside I spent most of my life sleeping on a bed of knives/i'm so dead inside,i'm so,i'm so dead inside I spent most of my life sleeping on a bed of knives/i'm so dead inside,i'm so,i'm so dead inside