{ verse 1: oscar bunnik } Woke up, had dream that i died. and it was beautiful Got 2 messages in group chats none personal, as usual Stupid me to think somebody cares bout what i did Why am i so dellusional to believe somebody gives a sh*t This won't be any bars, just to get this of my fu*kin chest I feel like a faillure everytime that i am not the best Leave me alone, but i need you cause i am fu*kin stressed I don't know wheter i'm depressed or i'm just going mad Go take a shower, pass the mirror. i just turn away I don't likе the look faillure I don't wanna see the pain I don't wanna see all of thе shame that floats around my name I don't wanna see this fu*king face, that i fu*king hate Go downstairs, fake a smile for my mother I never had a smile for myself. only laughed for others Don't want my mom to see The boy she raised is now feels depressed She would blame it on herself Don't wanna see her doing that Standing at the station waiting on my train to go to school My buddy tells me it's delayed, "somebody jumped oh what a fool" "that man is selfish, traumatizing witnesses that sh*t cruel" But all i think about how he did what i shoulda do But i couldn't do And now i'm stuck inside this life without a single clue Without a purpose or a talent to help me get through Failed you so much little brother, not the man that you should wanna be or look up to { chorus: kim } To find yourself You must lose yourself My life has just begun Tried to pull me through this hell What more could i have done? Little bright spots where i'm looking for to be happy again So i'll spread my wings and fly, ooh fly { verse 2: oscar bunnik } Yess i'm a mess but i refuse to take drugs A xanny makes me crawl But it cannot take me up Cause i know i'll be an addict, even from a single pop If i feel happiness one time, i can never get enough So i never get a rest, i can never take a break I feel worthless all the time, all my happiness is fake I'm waiting for a sign, feel like hachi as of late Keep me sane with a rhyme, that's the way i meditate I don't ever wanna sleep, cause i hate pretty dreams Just let me live in misery, don't show me what can't be I am out of touch with everything that i esteem All my friends have been sleeping with satan it seems And i'm paranoid as fu*k, feel like everybody's out here to get me Don't tell me that i got a million reasons to be happy I know that damn well, but my mind doesn't make any sense And that's exactly the problem nobody comprehends Stuck between not wanting to live and having fear of the dark Feel like the faker the problems, the bigger the bark The broken suffer in silence, they put a seal on their heart I'm doing better found guidance that's why i share in my art Just the way i feel, hope you cannot relate There's beauty in the struggle so i know there will be better days Know the pain of life always lingers in your mind I can fake i got the answers but to this there is just no advice There were times, i was conviced that god did not exist Which maybe saved my life so i just see that as a gift Now take the shackles of my wings so i can finally fly But won't leave anything behind, i keep with the past on my side Know it's hard to survive in the night when your senses don't make sense and lost the spark in your eyes And every hill feels like mountain when you feel so small in size So prepare for battle cause you must be willing to fight But you can do it { chorus: kim } To find yourself You must lose yourself My life has just begun Tried to pull me through this hell What more could i have done? Little bright spots where i'm looking for to be happy again So i'll spread my wings and fly, ooh fly