Once again I'm a little depressed by the tired old face that I see Once again it is time to be someone, who's anyone other than me With the rare combination of girlish excitement and manly restraint I position my precious a**ortment of pencils and powders and paint So whenever I feel that my place in the world is beginning to crash I apply one great stroke of Mascara to my rather limp upper lash And I can cope again, Good God! There's hope again When life is a real b**h again, and my old sense of humor has up, and gone It's time for the big switch again, I put a little more Mascara on When I count my crow's feet again, and tired of this perpetual marathon I put down the john-seat again, and put a little more Mascara on And ev'rything's sparkle dust, bugle beads, ostrich plums When it's a beaded lash that you look through 'Cause when I feel glamorous, elegant, beautiful The world that I'm looking at's beautiful too When my little road has a few bumps again And I need something level to lean upon I put on my sling pumps again And wham! This ugly duckling is a swan So when my spirit starts to sag I hustle out my highest drag And put a little more mascara on And ev'rything's ankle straps, Maribou, Shalimar It's worth socking in my gut, and girdling my rear 'Cause ev'rything's ravishing, sensual, fabulous When Albin is tucked away, and, ZaZa is here When ev'rything slides down the old tubes again And when my self esteem has begun to drift I strap on my fake b**bs again And literally give myself a lift So when it's cold and when it's bleak I simply rouge the other cheek For I can face another day In slipper satin lingerie To make depression disappear I screw some rhine stones on my ear And put my brooches and tiara And a little more mascara on Sparkle dust, bugle beads Ankle straps, Maribou On! Ankle straps, Maribou Ostrich plumes, Shalimar Ravishing, fabulous, on! Ravishing, fabulous, on