Off Beat - Loved Up lyrics

[VERSE 1] It all started with a simple status I was online when I saw my mate update his To "feeling blessed!" with a smiley face Which aroused my suspicions right away Now, I know you're probably questioning why But he's the moodiest dude you've ever met in your life I mean, this guy could make Eeyore look euphoric So I knew something was up from the moment I saw it I kept an eye on him for the next few days And one by one, all the symptoms began to display And instead of his typical cynical posts He was now sharing those inspirational quotes It was obvious what was occurring We just had to wait for his status to confirm it And the very next day, he updated it To say, you guessed it- "in relationship" [Chorus] My mate's loved up My mate's loved up And now I can't wait 'till my mate shuts up I'm not trying to hate, and I sure ain't bitter But I don't need updates on Facebook and Twitter My mate's loved up My mate's loved up And now I can't wait 'till my mate shuts up I'm not trying to hate, and I sure ain't jealous But keep it to yourself, 'cause you don't need to tell us [VERSE 2] So now he's officially spreading the word around You'd have to be a hermit not to have heard by now Even when it's unrelated Crowbarring "my new girlfriend" into every conversation Like, "did you hear that celebrity's dead?" "That reminds me of something hilarious that she said!" So we smile and pretend that we care And reply, "Yeah, mate, you probably had to be there" This is the same guy, just to be clear Who's had the same profile pic for the last five years And only just now he's changed it To a photo of them both on some nauseating day trip He never used to even go to the shops Now she's taking him hiking on woodland romps? “Man, I thought you said nature was boring?” “Yeah, but she gave me a new appreciation for it!” [Chorus] My mate's loved up My mate's loved up And now I can't wait 'till my mate shuts up I'm not trying to hate, and I sure ain't bitter But I don't need updates on Facebook and Twitter My mate's loved up My mate's loved up And now I can't wait 'till my mate shuts up I'm not trying to hate, and I sure ain't jealous But keep it to yourself, 'cause you don't need to tell us [VERSE 3] It's been a whole week, and he thinks that she's a keeper And inevitably, now he wants me to meet her But I don't feel like I need to I know enough already I could write her entry on Wikipedia! But I agree, and we go for a meal Where predictably I feel as if I'm a third wheel While they stare lovingly into each other's eyes I nearly jump out my seat when the drinks arrive "Drinks are here!" 'Cause that's the only way that I can get through this While they sit and giggle like a pair of school kids It's cute but it makes me wanna vomit They're not calling each other “snookums” yet, but it's not far from it But she's cool to be perfectly honest I can't fault her and my mate is completely besotted So as long as he's happy that's the main thing You just wouldn't ever catch me acting like that - is all I'm saying… [Chorus] My mate's loved up My mate's loved up And now I can't wait 'till my mate shuts up I'm not trying to hate, and I sure ain't jealous But keep it to yourself, 'cause you don't need to tell us My mate's loved up My mate's loved up And now I can't wait 'till my mate shuts up I'm not trying to hate, and I sure ain't bitter But maybe she's got a fit mate, or a sister?