Non-Prophets - Disasters lyrics

On plane rides On train rides On bus rides You need to shut your kids the f** up! (Word up) Trying to get some writing done on this mothaf**er (I hate it) Haha...check it out Perhaps when I have one of my own, I'll sing a new tune But this song is called "Disasters", its about your two year old I sing for a living in funeral homes, I don't take requests Diss my sense of fashion all you want, I hate the way you dress How do you expect someone to take you seriously When its obvious the god you trust is hateful and inferior to me? "I'm kidding!" Really folks, who asked us to be modest? Thinking when you hear these jokes, you laugh just to feel smarter Women are cannon-fodder for the father of their bratty little disasters I brought it back a little bit, you see that? Give you a recap, before I recall it and recut it Relax and read more on every subject Beat back the natural urges that have surgeons attack fat persons Scalpels swervin' till the cellulite splattered on curtains Certain you've heard of me by now, that's why you're listening As I waste the most inopportune time to diss some things (like children) If you have one, cool! But don't use kiddies as an excuse to make terrible music please I've got a mouth to feed too, and it lives on my face In a house that's see-through and it's your kid's mom's place Baby mamma drama blah blah blah I've got a problem but I'm not sitting on top of a barbarian chair With Rastafarian hair I fear no man with a hand full of scissors Cause I just cut him short in the shape of an animal less vicious, dig it I'm more dapper than Dan, and sadly? You're more stupid like a van full of Pakistans at a Klan rally Where's my daddy? Forget what the court of law says I cut my losses, I'm asking you who the f** YOURS is! If I wanted to pick you up with a line It'd have a fish hook on the end of it and I'd stick it in your eye f**ing cry, baby Wipe your eye, baby I may have busted off a couple of times inside but that ain't my...baby! Kickin' unoriginal flavors, dumb ish Like Jay-Z trying to impress chip fool with a tongue twist I diggity-done this, I diggity-done that I kiggity-kept the style in my arsenal thinking it will come back Now run that sh** like wild potato chips Throw your hands up if you're in a f**ed up relationship Help me..f** these kids up in the two seats behind me (waah...) (Yo Sage, that's supposed to be an inner loop beat) I know that (disaster) I know that (disaster) I know that (disaster) I know that (disaster)