Noël Coward - Nina lyrics

(as Performed at Las Vegas) Senorita Nina, from Argentina, knew all the answers Although her relatives and friends were perfect dancers She swore she'd never dance a step until she died She said, "I've seen too many movies, And all they prove is Too idiotic. They all insist that South America's exotic Whereas it couldn't be more boring if it tried. " She added firmly that she hated The sound of soft guitars beside a still lagoon She also positively stated That she could not abide a Southern moon She said with most refreshing candor That she thought Carmen Miranda Was subversive propaganda And should rapidly be shot She said she didn't care a jot If people quoted her or not She refused to Begin The Beguine when they requested it And she made an embarra**ing scene if anyone suggested it For she detested it. Though no-one ever could be keener than little Nina On quite a number of very eligible men who did the rhumba When they proposed to her she simply left them flat. She said that love should be impulsive, but not convulsive And syncopation had a discouraging effect on procreation And that she'd rather read a book and that was that. Senorita Nina, from Argentina, despised the Tango Although she never was a girl to let a man go She wouldn't sacrifice her principles for s**. She looked with scorn on the gyrations Of her relations who did the conga And said that if she had to stand it any longer She'd lose all dignity and wring their silly necks. She said that frankly she was blinded To all their over advertised romantic charms And then she got more bloody minded And told them where to put their tropic palms. She said, "I hate to be pedantic But it drives me nearly frantic When I see that unromantic, sycophantic lot of s*uts Forever wriggling their guts. It drives me absolutely nuts. " She declined to Begin The Beguine though they besought her to And in language profane and obscene she cursed the man who taught her to She cursed Cole Porter too. From this it's fairly clear that Nina, in her demeanour Was so offensive that when the hatred of her friends grew too intensive She thought she'd better beat it while she had the chance After some trial and tribulation, she reached the station And met a sailor, who had acquired a wooden leg in Venezuela And so he married him, because he couldn't dance. There surely never could've been a More irritating girl than Nina They never speak in Argentina Of this degenerate bambina Who had the luck to find romance But resolutely wouldn't da- a-a-a-a a-a-a-a a-a-a-a a-a-a-ance She wouldn't dance Hola!