Murdock (Rapper) - Agoraphobia lyrics

(Verse 1) 2 AM the beats played about a thousand times, my minds stuck on just doubting lines To my surprise, I've just been compromised, the artist now lies with his dried out art supplies What they taught was lies, cause I just stay lost and cry Inside day and night, watch time pa** me by Freedom became a prison when I went off script, ain't it ironic that the actor can't handle his sh** I ain't done a play in months cause I'm focused on the album But that release is getting further, now I'm thinking about the outcome Turn down invitations while the crew goes out and has fun Then I never drop it and nobody asks "How come?" Should I just stop and call it straight quits? Is the world better off now without these hits? But I've worked too damn hard and gotten too damn far Stay inside another night to work and raise the bar (Bridge) I take a deep breathe and my throat begins to close up Time is moving forward and I'm yelling at it hold up Take a step outside and immediately throw up Going fetal, come full circle as a grown up Feel like I've inverted, converted to someone else I've been hurtin', no one heard it, wasn't calling out for help I've become an introverted and combo insomniac Stress is alerted and my body succumbs to a panic attack (Verse 2) Every morning's just a night that I didn't k** myself So f** it lets celebrate, I'll pour this liquor in my mouth There's no doubt these days'll go down this route Only thing I got planned out's not leaving my house Like I've locked myself away but how can home be a jail Says the Puerto Rican who's never looked this pale Wash the blood off my hands as they become so frail But OCD's got me washing till they're feeling like scales Tourette's at this point, got me feeling obscene But this the natural me so who am I to intervene My friends hit me up. I'm on the same old routine Breaking my score in ignore calls 2k16 Stopped my medication, that's got something to do with it Cause the night's I'm staying sober are the one's that I'm losing it I take another shot to help me suffer through this, I'm in bliss Till my mother finds me pa**ed out covered in piss (Bridge) I take a deep breathe and my throat begins to close up Time is moving forward and I'm yelling at it hold up Take a step outside and immediately throw up Going fetal, come full circle as a grown up Feel like I've inverted, converted to someone else I've been hurtin', no one heard it, wasn't calling out for help I've become and introverted and combo insomniac Stress is alerted and my body succumbs... (Anxiety Interlude) Hahaha David am I glad to be back. Especially when things are going so well, perfect timing! Graduated college... big accomplishment, Bravo! And how's the career going post-graduation? You know what, don't even answer that. Tell me how's your relationship? You two were going to be together forever, right? Eh You're keeping busy though! Sleeping in, then laying in bed for hours just watching the ceiling fan go round and round Getting so much better at taking shots, college taught you some groundbreaking stuff huh? *Phone vibrates* Hold on that's your phone, let me grab that for you Ignore. Not in the mood. They're only trying to use you. Pity text obviously You know what, let's just turn it off. There we go... peace and quiet. See David.. what would you do without me? AAAH!!! (Verse 3) Not long ago I got some news that put me in a bad mood Without warning, next thing I felt my hands move Grabbed the sheets off my bed, put them straight to my neck And I strangled myself till I turned my f**ing throat red! But I stopped, in that moment had realization of clarity All my life, I've been giving out f**s like it was charity Tears of a clown was my story until now but actually I gotta make some sacrifices, live my life more happily Cut the snakes out my garden, slither in sh** that they started Talk through your a**, you just farting No excuses or pardons, that goes to those in the past The complexes the exes f**ing me up and over thinking there won't be consequences Backstabbers throw their family under for a new Lexus Try it again, I dare you to test out my reflexes I got a fire instead of a nucleus so you better respect it This my heart on a plate, eat up this meal of perfection But first let's sit down and tune into the rambles Of this Agoraphobic. Alcoholic. a**hole