Mr. Porter - My Band lyrics

[Intro: Eminem] I don't know, dude I think everybody's all jealous and sh** ‘Cause I'm like the lead singer of a band, dude And I think everybody's got a f**ing problem with me, dude And they need to take it up with me after the show, because… [Hook: Eminem] These chicks don't even know the name of my band But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands ‘Cause once I blow they know that I'll be the man All because I'm the lead singer of my band [Verse 1: Eminem] So I get off stage, right, drop the mic Walk up to the hot chicks and I'm all like "Sup? Ladies, my name's Slim Shady I'm the lead singer in D12, baby" They're all like, "Oh my God, it's him Becky, oh my f**ing God, it's Eminem I swear to f**ing God, dude, you f**ing rock Please Marshall, please let me s** your co*k" And by now, the rest of the fellas get jealous Especially when I drop the beat and do my a capellas All the chicks start yelling, all the hot babes Throw their bras and their shirts and their panties on stage So like every single night they pick a fight with me But when we fight it's kinda like sibling rivalry ‘Cause they're back on stage the next night with me Dude! I just think you're trying to steal the light from me Yesterday Kuniva tried to pull a knife on me ‘Cause I told him Jessica Alba's my wife to be This rock star sh**, it's the life for me And all the other guys just despise me, because… [Hook: Eminem] These chicks don't even know the name of my band But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands ‘Cause once I blow they know that I'll be the man All because I'm the lead singer of my band [Bridge: Eminem] My band, my band My band, my band My band, my band My band, my band, my band! [Verse 2: Swifty McVay] You just wanna see a n***a backwards, don't you? ADAT? How come we don't rap on Pro Tools? Smash these vocals and do a performance But we in the van and he in a tour bus You don't want my autograph, you's a liar And no, I'm Swift (oh, I thought you were Kuniva) What the hell is wrong with our dressing room?! ‘Cause my sh** is looking smaller than a decimal See, I know how to rap, see, it's simple, but All I did was read a Russell Simmons book So I'm more intact, tryin' to get on the map Doing jumping jacks whiling get whipped on my back [Verse 3: Kuniva & Kon Artis (Eminem)] Look at Em's little punk a** thinking he the sh** Yeah, I know, man, by himself taking all the flicks Hey, I thought we had an interview with DJ Clue (No, I had an interview, not you two) You gon' be late for soundcheck, man, I ain't going to soundcheck And our mics are screwed up and his always sound best! You know what, man? I'ma say something Ayo Em! (You got somethin' to say?!) Man, nuttin I thought you 'bout to tell him off, wa**up? Man, I'ma tell him when I feel like it, man, shut up! And you ain't even back me up when we supposed to be a crew Man, I was 'bout to talk right after you, I swear Aww, man, whatever I swear, man! [Hook: Eminem] These chicks don't even know the name of my band But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands ‘Cause once I blow they know that I'll be the man All because I'm the lead singer of my band [Verse 4: Proof] They say the lead singers rock, but the group does not Went from sold out arenas to amusement parks I'm gon' let the world know that Proof is hot I should cut his mic off when the music starts (Eminem: Ayo, it's…) Ready to snap on a dumba** fan Every time I hear (Hey, dude, I love your band!) We ain't a band, b**h, we don't play instruments So why he get 90 and we only get 10 percent? And these guys acting funny every area code (Eminem: Proof, carry my bag!) b**h, carry your own! Can't make it to the stage, security in my way (Who the f** are you? Where's Obie and Dre?!) [Verse 5: Bizarre] God damn it, I'm sick of this group Time for me to go solo and make some loot I told you I made the beats and wrote all the raps Till Kon Artis slipped me some crack "Lose Yourself" video – I was in the back "Superman" video – I was in the back For the media, I got some suggestions f** Marshall! Ask us the questions! Like who's D12? How we get started? (What about Eminem?) b**h, are you retarded?! Anyway, I'm the popularest guy in the group Big a** stomach, b**hes think I'm cute (hey s**y!) 50 told me to do sit-ups to get buff Did two and a half and then couldn't get up f** D12! I'm outta this band I'm gonna start a group with the real Roxanne [Break: Eminem] Girl, why can't you see you're the only one for me? And it just tears my a** apart To know that you don't know my name (Man, f** this!) {*punch*} [Hook: Bizarre] These chicks don't even know the name of my band (Ha ha!) But they're all on me Like they wanna hold hands (f** Marshall!) ‘Cause once I blow, I know that I'll be the man (Yeah) All because I'm the *mumbles* [Bridge] My band, my band My band, my band My band, my band My band, my band, my band! [Bizarre] The hottest boy band in the world – D12! [Outro: Eminem] I'm the lead singer of my band I get all the girls to take off their underpants I'm the lead singer of my band My salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance My salsa, look out for my next single, it's called My Salsa My salsa, salsa, salsa, salsa My salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance And take off their underpants My salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance And take off their underpants, my salsa Where'd everybody go?