Momus - Welcome To My Show Trial lyrics

Welcome to my nightmare Welcome to my show trial I could've been a traitor I could've been a tailor I could've been a waiter I could've been a failure I chose to be a writer Every writer is a traitor So here I am Call me Pam Call me Stan Call me Gran It's taking place in Imation with no written constitution Let alone a guarantee of freedom of expression While the customs men still rummage for smut through every incoming package Like a parcel sent to Britain, my show trial was open and shut Call me Gran Call me Stan Call me the man Here I am And the weather is getting clever, more clever than ever And a spot is a spot, until it is a blot I'm a poet, I know it, I'm a writer in the mirror Every writer is a traitor, I'm getting sillier and sillier Here I am Call me Stan Call me Gran Call me the man Call me Anne Call me Stan Call me Gran Call me the man But here I am I'm feeling poorly, before the jury They're going to smoke a cigarette in the carpark That shouldn't matter, but I've just delivered my own defense I was a spiritual witness, I talked about the d**h of the nation I spoke about duty, cla**, money, art, orgasm and d**h I said "I possess none of the above, except, perhaps, for orgasm and art" Therefore, I had nothing to lose I went on about ignoring the unwritten rules Any suggestion that there's idiocy in ordinary life Any hint that children might understand the facts about love Any notion of normality might not be so ideal What women think of men and what men really feel about women In a penetrating x-ray of the soul, revelations of the secrets of professionals in guilds These things are forbidden by tacit understanding Call me Stan Call me the man Call me an idiot But I spoke about you Every writer is a traitor And when I look in the mirror I see a writer, therefore a traitor Welcome to my show trial Every owl is beguiled Full fathom five my father lies I am a writer And so play the game Be a good chap...