Mojo Nixon & Skid Roper - She's Vibrator Dependent lyrics

Came home early one night from work Thought my wife's in bed with a jerk She's in there with a big piece of plastic Yelling and a-screaming Super-deluxe creaming She don't want my love stick Cause she's vibrator dependent Don't want me in it Says I don't make the right noise Been replaced by batteries Hey there, fellas, can't you see She just wants to play with her toys She don't want to go out and dance She don't want to get in my pants Just stay home and vibrate I'm getting big blisters on my hands Thinking maybe I ain't a man Man, she ain't gonna get impregnate Cause she's vibrator dependent Don't want me in it Says I don't make the right noise Been replaced by batteries Hey there, fellas, can't you see She just wants to play with her toys Play with them, honey There she was in the bedroom, sounding like she was shaving her tallywhacker with a battery-powered device. Me, I'm prancing around out in the living room, got the demon jism buildup. I mean, I got a severe case of it. Lot of pressure on my brain, eyeballs turning white, grabbing my tallywhacker all the time. I look her in the eye, and I say, uh, I say, "Baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby please! Baby, you got something I need, something I want. I want to put my face in the special place." She says, "What?" "I want to put my face in the special place, yeah. I want to get ring-around-the-face honey, you know what I'm talking about, when the full moon comes around." She said "Mojee wojee, you got to do something for me if you want to do that." I said, "What's that honey?" She said, "Mojee, know what you got to do? You know I got these battery-powered things here, and you know I got some things that plug into the wall, put 110 volts on my tallywhacker. Mojo, I want you to go out to the store, I want you to get me something, something big and ugly, gigantic vibrator, Vibratorzilla it'd be. And unplug the refrigerator, Mojo, get Vibratorzilla, bring it in here and put 220 on the money, honey!" I said "Baby, you done got crazy." "And then Mojo, you can put your face in the special place... But you're gonna have to Gonna have to Make a little noise" Took her down to see a nurse Cure her of this terrible curse Doctor said, "Lady, you're afflicted Man, you got a terrible habit Now I told you not to grab it I pronounce you addicted" Cause she's vibrator dependent Don't want me in it Says I don't make the right noise Been replaced by batteries Hey there, fellas, can't you see She just wants to play with her toys Yeah, she's vibrator dependent Don't want me in it Says I don't make the right noise Been replaced by batteries Hey there, fellas, can't you see She just wants to play with her toys She just wants to play with her toys She's got VD That's Vibrator Dependency now, isn't it No, honey, you can't plug my toes into the wall Nah, I ain't gonna hum no more either