Modern Baseball - Note To Self lyrics

Holt's above my hideout I dug this hole beneath the floorboards Buzzing bad and locked in Try to not recall Counting numbered days From the wheel we cried to clutch Looking for some inspired land But all I found were empty cans and cigarette bu*ts Lining dirty parking lots in Ottawa (Glazed eyes, trying to rub away at the sketches of the...) Daytime When every second of sun's the same What's the point of staying awake? Your hands are out and I see You're asking me for a vowel but I am weak and I am stubborn So I'll say "This is all I have right now" But I want to make something good I want to make something better Something that cannot leave the ground Unless we lift it up together Where I want to be still seems a thousand miles away But pretending we feel safe right here gets harder every day It's a note to self mislaid You ate the words you always used to say There will be no more f**ing around today Drunk and worthless, spewing bullsh** all across the stage Wake up and we find new hiding places Trying desperately to escape The glare from our stupid, spineless (I don't believe you, you're all the same) Words just whining, every f**ing day What do I really want to say? Where I want to be still seems a thousand miles away But pretending we feel safe right here gets harder every day It's a note to self mislaid You ate the words you always used to say There will be no more f**ing around today