Mike Birbiglia - The Guitar Guy At The Party lyrics

I'm the guitar guy at the party I'm the guitar guy and I think I'll drink a Coke and Bacardi It might seem like I'm just having fun But I'm actually not I'm trying to sleep with your girlfriend Listen to me as I play this song Cause I'm gonna play it regardless I'm only playing three chords So I can make eye contact With different women in the room I'm gonna try and sleep with your girlfriend But I'm gonna make it sound like we have a really special bond And we should keep it secret... You know, I think your boyfriend really takes you for granted When was the last time he told you your eyes look like space crystals? If you wanna come by my place later It'd be cool It's not gonna be like last time I totally understand why that freaked you out Maybe if i play free falling then Someone will give me a hand job Or maybe they'll just sit on my lap And the friction will cause me to have an erection An erection I'll make sure that you won't feel Cause I'm cla**y And I'm gonna shift it to the left And I'm gonna shift it to the right And I'm gonna create a mental image in my head Like guys in prison taking a group shower Here's my story I'm gonna make sure that I tell it in the proper order I went to arts camp as a kid and I I played the recorder Then i learned that recorders are for losers And guitars get chicks and Now when I feel like a loser I take this out and sing "Wonderwall" by Oasis I play mostly covers Cat Stevens and Beatles and a couple of others I do some original songs too but they're not as well received... "Christ is god, Christ is god" But I still want that hand job Cause I'm the guitar guy I'm the guitar guy I'm the guitar guy I'm the guitar guy