Mike Absalom - Flasher Jack at the Cinema lyrics

It was evening A chill winters wind whistled through the icy streets of that western portion of the southern metropolis known as Notting Hill Gate Flasher Jack dragged himself across the icy pavements humming quietly to himself that age old song of darkness and flagellation You know the one Just a thong at twilight Feeling hungry his mind meandered back to the meals of the institution whence he had just been released, and he continued humming Veal meat again And remembering one horrible piece of melon all covered in mould Too nasty even to contemplate I'm shy hairy melon, I'm shy Suddenly, without a word of warning he came up against a cinema notice board Advertising Barbar X the swinging vicar in some like it hot And that dopplin s** crime thriller, Snow white and the Seven Dwarfs Seeking solace, and anything else that was going Flasher paid and entered Ensconced in the warm and {peruvian} darkness of the 13th row He found himself entirely alone in the cinema save for one beautiful blond, brunette or red headed female usherette who by some chance of fate, and quirk of destiny Happened to be occupying the next seat to the one into which he slunk himself Quickly turning his collar around and disguising himself as a clergyman Flasher opened his plastic mac and prepared to expose to her his innermost thoughts A lot of co*k for the most part I'm master Jenkins, he muttered hoarsely But he was hardly past her knees before the cinema organ opened up with a crashing rendering of "God Save the Queen" The lights came on, and an attendant came round selling soft drinks and hamburgers Sadly But phylisophically Flasher rose to go "Let us leave" he said with a parting bon mo Not with a bang, but with a wimpey And now let me sing you the saga of Flasher Jack and Annabelle at the seaside in Scarborough Tinged with the vernacular