Mickey Shiloh - There's Alot Going On lyrics

[Intro] Yeah, this just my life Front to back, top to bottom Everything's changing around me These days don't feel the same We all lost faith and lost family Why must we play this game? Lord have mercy on me I've been a sinning man Pull out my wings, jump off the bridge and crash in a plane If I never land... [Hook] Know I never die We live forever in my mind And I sanctify We live forever, still alive [Verse] There's a lot going on but I stick to the ones I love I never claimed to be a perfect man but name a great man who was Consequences of my actions in the past years had me stressing out It was like, May, I just moved to L.A., I was tryna figure it out Medication for depression that I cut cold turkey, had the kid manic In an episode out in Hollywood, wilding out like Nick Cannon Railing Adderall pills out a dollar bill, on the bathroom floor Clean the whole mess up with my nose, what the f** I need a vacuum for? New York City on my birthday, June 6th, 2014 I had that first meeting with Hov, plus I brought out the whole team I drank that whole bottle of D'usse Ty Ty gave me that night When we left the club, at the Rap Genius house me and shorty got into a fight She came out the room swingin', hit me in the jaw I was really tryna fend her off But I ended up in the closet with my hands around her neck I was tripping, dawg Too proud to apologize or empathize, I blamed it all on her Saying that she hit me first, even though she was the one hurt I was really just reflecting all the hurt that I was feeling from the band's rejection When Kids These Days split, that sh** felt like a c-section And my infidelity and jealousy with Natalie on top of the amphetamines And the ecstasy had me tryna drown face down in the Chesapeake The next month I dropped "Down on My Luck" and had Europe going nuts But I couldn't even appreciate it at the time, I was going through too much Now I had to leverage million dollar label deals on the table for my records In Ibiza eating paella on the roof, tryna choose over breakfast Hov wasn't with the bidding war, but I knew the Roc just felt right When I saw Kanye at Wireless, without T-Pain, still a good life Felt so close when Mr. Hudson introduced me to him backstage He prolly don't even remember that sh**... like a b**h off Backpage But at that stage, I was ready to swing for the fence like a batting cage At the same time, I was winding down a low point in my addict phase The Adderall started wearing off and I went into a deep writer's block All over a song that I couldn't finish that I wrote about signin' to the Roc Isn't that ironic? I was feeling so psychotic With the whole world excited for me and my idol saying I got it sh** got bad out in L.A., so I moved back home to my mom's basement Linked up with Smoko and Papi Beatz and took it back to basics Then I wrote "Rage," that was me screaming out through the pain And "U Mad," addressing my relationship with Natalie, it was too bad The violence and the lies slipped suicide into my mental health I did acid in the studio one day and almost k**ed myself As I started to fall apart, certain stars started to align Om'Mas came to Chicago in January at the perfect time He said Kanye was working on an album, and Uzi played him one of our songs He was tryna fly me out, n***a, it was goin' down like the Dow Jones Pulled up to Westlake, first day I was there, I recorded "Wolves" I knew I was the one, like Neo meeting with the Oracle But I had to get a handle 'fore the door was pulled Crawled out on SNL All the n***as hating on me back home lookin' at me like, "FML" A lot of people coming out the wood like, "Let's work," tryna network All the pressure making my head hurt, the molly wouldn't let the meds work At this time it's like Feb. 1st to the 15th, and I'm still addicted Frustrated, writing sh** for Ye, tryna visualize someone else's vision Then he laid that verse on "U Mad" and we made the sh** the single Ye and Hov getting into it over me, tryna do a joint venture And G.O.O.D. Music still fam, but it's that Roc boy SAVEMONEY life Took the bus out on the road for the Traffic tour, did a hundred nights Cleaned out my closet, I got rid of all of my demons If you learn one thing from my journey, n***a it's don't stop believing When this sh** got so suffocating I could barely even keep breathing Wrote my wrongs all in this song now I'd like to welcome y'all to my season n***a I'm gone [Hook] Know I never die We live forever in my mind And I sanctify We live forever, still alive