Memory cards - Heartfelt lyrics

[Verse 1] Dad was such a bore Thank god we got rid of him It's time for some Ritalin But I'm stuck in the middle of A laughing fit, another sip, another bit of the smoke that keeps my soul lit Tonight is a special night, tonight is the night I feel alive again More alive than in the last ten years Or was it twelve? Excuse me here How in the hell should I care about these little facts When I'm living in dreck like this But it doesn't have to be like this I say as I give the mirror a heartfelt kiss As I make another cross on my wishlist Steven is gone and I'm sure that I k**ed him [Verse 2] I cut myself on the bottle, the pain goes full throttle As I try to ease the pain by taking another shot My head is feeling hot as I squash my cigarette The smoke is so thick, you could cut it like bread I always gave my wife nice gifts At least I think, I don't remember A dozen violets, in September She was still crying two weeks later So ungrateful Doesn't she know paradise is where I take her? The door clicks, I should talk to her This is gonna be a long walk I scream at her, she squeaks She sees my shadow arrive on the scene She steps back with her back to the wall I have always been taller than her But tonight she seems so small [Verse 3] She always got flowers, have another rose For the middle of your face, like my father spoke To my mother, Distant screaming My eyes light up seemingly out of nowhere You need a vase for the flowers My head can not devour anything else than The rush of nausea and it's power I didn't notice it has been one hour I step back, get to the room that I was in I grab myself a big bottle of gin Return to the living-room But I couldn't consume it Because I laughed like I howled at the moon Then I screamed