MC Paul Barman - Enter Pan-Man lyrics

On Avenue C With more Stussy Than you've ever seen Lived a young man Not a dumb man Graduate of Evergreen In his undies He read Sundie's New York Times Help Wanted But his CV's like the TV Because there's nothing on it Then he saw an ad Under College Grad that said "We are looking for a man To be a star, a living Pan If you're 18 to 24 we'll Gibe you horn implants of coral Plus an operation which removes Your feet and gives you hooves Rehab is free plus a loft" and He didn't stop to think Faxed the contact, Lloyd Kaufman President of Troma Inc The cloven Fauve in Paul Verhoeven's Epic film entitled "Pan-Man" Theme song was to "Enter Sandman" Weird Al polka version It was an action flick Pan-Man kicked backwards attackers Sent by the s**y matadortress From her Spanish fortress Of course the film was torturous Lloyd Kaufman's masterpiece Achieving wide release Logos in the marquees Said "Pac-Man" with the c's Rotated ninety degrees Troma had a premier at the MOMA Paloma wore her signature aroma A homeopathic doctor prone to Diagnose glaucoma had Pan's Evergreen diploma Shown to Williams and Sonoma Forget the hourly salary Househusbands get a dowry Of aureum or else become A Bowery bum Pan met his wife at the clubs and Now he's a househusband He left his M2 staff in the lurch They married at the Limelight She wrote home of a church His co-op cooking style impressed her Her dad bought the home in Westchester And funded Kaplan Review MCAT Med school And residencies Through three presidencies Evidently When their first son was born Pan had his horns retracted But at back-at-school-night He couldn't hack it 'cause the racket In the corridor Had parents ready to act the toreador The principal called a moritor- Ium so he um Wishes he could delete Or at least backspace Retrieve his feet Forgo the back brace His hooves had held him On an awkward angle Now he's got a Wrinkle in his Spine Like Madeleine L'Engle And that's the end of my snotty Hiphoppity Gymnopedie Not by Satie But poignant And it goes clipcloppity