MC Paul Barman - Old Paul lyrics

[Intro] Man, I remember Freezy Freakies Trying to do illustrations for cheesy weekly's Everything was Peachy-keen until I developed that Nietzsche spleen I'm gonna take lackadaisical ride on my back-in-the-day-cycle [Hook] Old Paul gave rap a cold call The Caucasoid had the whole block annoyed It took big, gilded, gold balls to smile at terror And trial and error [Verse 1: MC Paul Barman] High school was horse crap The format was a forced nap without the floor mat (OH YEAH!!!) It's pure and simple edutainment Rap needed an SG Paul B so I became it At a faster pace left the past erased Met Master Ace just south of Astor Place If it's not hip-hop is it the opposite Rap is scary Bout to go pop (a zit) or bust a (cap) illary But I'm not a square, I'm the monolith, the guy your girl got in the sauna with Yet completely alone in the hairiest industry known Besides the mafia My beeper fell off of the Belt loop under the train I destroyed my cell phone Because I self own [Hook] Old Paul gave rap a cold call The Caucasoid had the whole block annoyed It took big, gilded, gold balls to smile at terror And trial and error [Verse 2: MC Paul Barman] People repping clones accused me of using rap as a stepping stone I thought about this crap when I was schlepping home Is it ‘cause I go for the laugh Because I'm not from the ave Because I target the fans that you wish you didn't have Had I made a mockery of a culture like the Choco Taco Was I to rap as France was to Morocco Was I colon rap colon colon France colon Moroccooooooooo? [Hook] Old Paul gave rap a cold call The Caucasoid had the whole block annoyed It took big, gilded, gold balls to smile at terror And trial and error [Verse 3: MC Paul Barman] It was a trial by fire I smiled at liars with dorsal fins Went home to the porcelain throne (Of course I'll win) Managed by a mean gambler Coup de Tat bought Ad Slides disguised as a Screen Scrambler Photographed Phofo scratching our gold record (Yo, yo, Make that platinum) Al Hirschfeld did the cover My lover laughed on my hovercraft and gave me new ideas for another draft (drum break) I changed up my flow but my brain was cold stew I pressed Ctrl+Q in full view of my old crew Instead of hustling cameos and picking out Grammy clothes I make stuffed animals as my family grows—I mean grew I dropped out of this foolish world And married a Jewish girl And we had five kids And we all loved each other The End [Hook]x2