MC Paul Barman - A Somewhat New Medium lyrics

Eehh...Good morning...I mean good evening Ladies & Gentlemen, I wanna tell you about An experience I had this morning at San Francisco: You know, I'm staying at the hotel downtown and eh I had two hours, two hours, 'til I was rendez-vouing with my, eh My beautiful girlfriend's beautiful girlfriend So I took a little walk outside the hotel, I walked up a street With a name that's pretty familar to a lot of people, but not to me But it had an old name and there was a marquee It kinda looked like a movie marquee Or maybe the the type of thing posted outside of a motel Or maybe even casino But it wasn't any of those things It was some kind of sign that belonged to an old gas station tire shop And it was closed 'cause it was a Sunday And it said: "Americans are slow to hostility" - Winston Churchill And I thought ISN'T THAT something A big marquee with the Winston Churchill quote in the middle of San Francisco And then I went to Walgreens to find my TOM'S OF MAINE ginger-mint FLUORIDE-FULL toothpaste, but all they had was FLUORIDE-FREE And there was a women, at the counter, with a parrot, on her shoulder And she said: "Yeah yeah, my parrot is 44 years old..." And the people behind the counter at Walgreen's And next to the register, chatted her up and they said: "Ohh, we really like the way the red feathers are so deeply red!" And I was like "Man, 44. NOW that's old for a parrot! Kinda old for a person!" And the lady said, "Yeah, these types of parrots live to be into their 60's." And I was like "Good for you," when I noticed a streaaam of parrot sh** Crawling down the back of the owner's t-shirt And I thought to myself: "Either no one noticed the parrot sh** on her back Or more likely, she doesn't mind parrot sh** on her back..." And I was like: "Lady don't brush against me!" "In fact, go home, don't buy anything at Walgreen's Change your shirt, POTTY train your parrot, or don't go IN public!" And then I remember how Americans are slow to hostility And I thought: "Well maybe in a crazy town like this You pay for the happy-Winston-Churchill-quote with the nasty parrot sh**." Pfff